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Something tells me she does. What the hell do I do now?

Dressing in sweats and a long-sleeved T-shirt, I take a deep breath before braving the main room.

She’s sitting at the table studying her laptop and making notes in a binder. Glancing up, she smiles and stands. “I made you a snack. You probably need it. Not only did you save someone’s life, you spent a good hour and a half chopping wood.”

Placing the plate with a sandwich, an orange, and a couple cookies in front of me, she asks. “Coffee? There’s some leftover I can heat up.”

I nod around another bite. “This is really good tuna. Make sure I know what brand so I can buy it again.”

“I’m glad you like it. Actually, it’s chickpea salad. Very nutritious for you.”

I pause mid chew. What is happening to me? I’m eating meatless stew, and now meatless tuna salad. What’s really scary, I enjoyed both.

Is the food really good or am I willing to forsake everything to please this woman? To see her smile? Am I gonna lose my man card?

“I am not giving up steak. In fact, tomorrow we go to town so I can have one.”

“Perfect. I have the list of food supplies we need. I also want your help to get the items I don’t have in my SAR kit. I felt like I wasn’t there to help you today and I never want to feel that way again.”

I nod. “We can make a day of it. Maybe even look at freezers. I’ll take you to the Ranger station to so you can meet some of the staff.”

“You’re really behind me on this aren’t you?”

“I want for you, what makes you happy. Your safety is my first concern so be prepared for drill after drill.”

She nods. “I trust you with everything.”

CHAPTER 11

Juni

Now if he’d just accept my heart, I add silently.

He insists on helping with clean up. Then we go through my pack, and he inspects all my equipment, making a list of the things he wants to replace with better brands as well as noting the things I’m missing.

Afterward he goes out to do his final exterior walk around while I get ready for bed.

I take my time getting ready for bed. I know he’s hoping I’ll be asleep when he gets back. I thought about pretending, but it’s not what I want.

I want him and I want him to know I do. I anticipate push back, maybe even a little rejection. But I know what I want.

I love him and I have pretty much my whole life. I’ve seen how he looks at me when he thinks I don’t notice.

Micha is afraid of the nineteen-year six-month age gap. And his friendship with my father.

Mom and I have talked. She’s known for years how I feel. She consoled me through the horrible pre-teen and teen year crush. The boyfriends who never stood a chance. The sadness when Micha started pulling back during my college years.

She also suspects that Dad knows. At least on some level. Men just have a better ability to deny things they don’t want to know when it comes to their daughters. Like they can’t even imagine them having sex...EVER. Thank god for moms.

Mom arranged their out of country vacation of a lifetime during this time period on purpose. To give me a chance. She also has a satellite phone if I’m desperate and need to talk to her. Having your mom as your best friend is important. I hope I’m that for my daughters.

After making a final prep in the bathroom, I turn down the lights and climb into bed with my book and pretend to read while I wait. It’s another twenty minutes before he quietly lets himself in.

He freezes when he sees me sitting up in his bed. His gaze shoots to where the cot had been.

“You were right, the cot was a terrible idea. The mattress is thin and the base pokes everywhere. It’s too narrow to ever get comfortable. And squeaky. I took it apart and threw it outside. Well, it mostly fell apart. Poor quality.

“This bed is a super king and plenty big for both of us. I didn’t bother you last night, did I? I slept so hard I didn’t even know you were there. After the day we’ve had I’m sure it will be the same tonight. I just didn’t want to fall asleep while you were gone in case you needed something.