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I am none of those things... I’m old, jaded and distrustful, with blood on my hands from too many wars, more comfortable alone than with people.
I need to do the right thing by her. She can’t know how I feel. I need to send her on her way.
But god help me, I don’t know if I can.
Because I don’t just love her, I’m in love with her. I want her. I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of her, providing for her, watching over her, and making love with her.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’m forty-two. She’s twenty-three.
“Okay, I think I’ve got everything. Listen to my list,” she cuts into my thoughts.
Determined to master SAR protocol as well as becoming a ranger, she reads me her list of things she feels she needs and wants. A couple of the high-priced items aren’t worth the money, so I direct her to the quality options. At the store, when it comes to paying the tab, she gets downright feral when I pull out my wallet. “Back off! This is my job, my career, my responsibility.”
Then she smiles, too sweetly. “You get to pay for breakfast and the grocery store.”
She wants to go to the Hungry Saloon so she can thank Hannie again. The two of them chat away like long lost friends. How does she do that? She’s met the woman once.
When Hannie tells her they just added vegan sausage to the menu she jumps up and hugs her. Then when Hannie starts making light conversation with me, Juni kicks me under the table and gives me the stink eye, mouthing ‘use your words’.
“Damn it, Micha.” She hisses after Hannie walks away with our order. “You know how to talk. You say great things and are incredibly smart and insightful. Your opinion has value. Quit being shy. You’re a grown ass man with more knowledge and experience than half the people in this town. You are no longer hiding out from the truant officers.
“You don’t have to talk as much as me but at least engage with people. No one cares or even remembers your mom or that you didn’t have much growing up. Now they see the decorated army veteran who’s still saving people on the slopes. And quit looking angry. Smile.”
“Can I have the quiet gentle little girl back? The one who used to smile at me?”
“No. She’s a grown woman now who speaks her mind.” She pauses, her voice softens. “Who knows what she wants and goes after it.”
“You’re gonna make one hell of a ranger.”
The smile she gives me takes my breath away. “I’ve grown up a lot the six years you avoided me. There’s a lot more under the surface now.”
Well shit. Was that a threat or a warning?
Before grocery shopping, we stop at the hardware store where they carry a few appliances. They have a medium sized freezer that she says will be prefect now that I have a cabin. I can save the game I hunt instead of giving half away, vegetables from my garden and fruits. She’s so excited about it and feels so strongly, I find myself pulling out my credit card and arranging a delivery date.
At the grocery store I follow her from aisle to aisle as she picks up staples and random items that suddenly sound good. She teases and jokes. All I can do is smile. As we’re loading the truck I see another young couple loading bags into the back of their truck. When they close the tailgate, I see the sign. NEWLYWEDS.
Is that what we look like? Loading the truck up like we’re setting up home? Then I remember she’s my best friend’s daughter.
What the hell am I doing? I’m too damn old for someone as vibrant as Juni. If JB finds out how I feel about her, I’ll lose my best friend.
She’s quiet on the way to the cabin, staring out the window, twisting the drawstring of her jacket around her fingers then off again.
I carry the bags in while she starts putting things away. She turns to me. “Get out of the kitchen. I’ve got this and you’re distracted.”
“I need to clean out and make sure the old shed is ready for the freezer.”
CHAPTER 13
Juni
Juni : Mom, I think he just figured out that he has feelings for me and I have them for him.
Clair: This is a good thing? or bad?
Juni: Pretty sure he’s wondering if dad is going to kill him. And that he better run away.
Clair: Snort laugh! Men are such babies.