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I can’t say I’ve ever known harmony before, but I feel it with her. Just her presence alone calms me, it makes me want to be a better man. It’s all her doing and the effect she has on me.
“I miss them.” Her voice is quiet in the still of the night. Then she adds softly, “My parents.”
I tighten my arms around her. “I know you do.”
“Do you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people?” She trembles slightly, and I know this is a lot for her.
“Every fuckin’ day.”
There’s a stillness around us, but I know if she wants to talk, she will. I’m capable of just being here when she needs me. And despite her tough exterior, she’s as vulnerable as I am. Not that either of us like to admit it. “I tortured myself for years. I blamed that man for what he did, and it took years of anger and bad choices to fully understand that we’re not in control. We can be struck down at any time, any place. I couldn’t deal with that for a really long time.”
“Did the drunk driver live?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “He died shortly after due to his injuries. It was so senseless, Jamie. They didn’t have to die. They had a life before he took it away.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“I needed them. It’s not fair.” Her voice trails off and I hold her closer.
After a while I say, “You look like your mom. She’s real pretty.” There are photos all over the house of them, and I love that she had those mementos scattered everywhere. I can’t even imagine what a tragedy like that would do to you. It makes my heart hurt for her when she’s sad, that she lost so much.
“We were like peas in a pod.” She smiles at the memory.
“What was she like, your mom?”
“She was funny, charming, sweet, a lot like me.” She laughs when I bump her with my hips. “I get my temper from my dad.”
“Temper, what temper?” My heart kicks up when she smiles.
“Oh, trust me, you’ll see if you ever piss me off badly enough.”
“Remind me not to do that then.”
“My dad was the protector. He braced his arm over my mom’s chest when the car crashed into us.” Tears roll down her face. “Even in death, he tried to save her.”
“That’s what all good men do. He’s a hero. You should be proud of him.”
She wipes her nose with her sleeve. “I am. He was a good Dad. I couldn’t ask for better parents. That’s the part I don’t get. They loved me so much.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I wish I could make the pain go away.”
Her smile is watery when she whispers. “It’ll never go away, not fully. You’re always somewhere in the middle between happy and sad.”
“They wouldn’t want you to be sad, though,” I point out. “I can imagine how proud they are of the woman you’ve become, of what you’ve achieved.”
I hope so. She crawls her fingers up my chest as I wipe her tears with my thumbs. “What are we, Jamie? Are we just fucking?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
I lift a brow. “Don’t you?”
“How can we be in this place after only knowing each other for such a short time?”
“I guess it’s fate. Why question the reasons at all? It just feels right. I fell in love with you the second my eyes fell on your pretty face, Mama.”
Her lips part as she stares at me. “I think I fell a little for you too.”
“A little?” I press a hand to my chest, drumming my fingers. “I’d better up my game.”
She giggles when I snuggle into her neck. “I love you.” Her voice is soft, barely a whisper. I still. The words hang in the air. “I know it’s crazy, and sudden, and lunacy, but I fuckin’ love you, Drift. I feel it in my heart. In my gut. Everythin’ about this feels right.”
