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Cass sighed.
“Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on or just give me a direction to go in. For fuck’s sake, Cass, I get you don’t want to betray her trust, but if someone is hurting her. I need to know.”
“I keep telling you guys, this is her story to tell and trust me when I say it is fucking dark. She will tell you when she’s ready. She likes you Sarge, it just takes time for her to trust. Cara and I didn’t know the full truth until three years after meeting her! You’ve only known her what, eight months?”
“I know that Cass and I’m trying here. Just help me…please.” I clench out the final plea, I don’t beg, not for anything, but for her, I’d gladly get on my knees.
Cass considers my plea. He’s going to burn a hole in my carpet, the amount he’s pacing up and down it when the door opens and Cara barges her way in.
“I swear to God, Cass, if you won’t say something then I will. We can’t keep going like this, she needs help!” I think I’m finally going to get some answers now, but what I don’t like is the urgency in Cara’s voice. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t think it was this bad to get them both rattled. They’re both seasoned agents.
“It’s the anniversary of Thea’s death next week and Em normally goes to visit her grave and talk to her. Maybe you could show up and talk to her there? She might be more open with you.”
It’s not what I was hoping for, but it’s a start.
“Thank you, Cara.” Both her and Cass argue as they leave my office. They can hash it out together, I don’t have time for this. Cyrus turns towards me and says, “Maybe show up before she gets there and scope it out? You might find she says something out loud that could give us more to go on.”
“That’s a complete invasion. She talks to her dead sister and I’m there listening in on her?”
“What the fuck? When would that have ever been an issue before? You’re in love with her Kade and if she’s being hurt, we need to know who and why. Is there really a boundary you won’t cross?” he demands.
Truth be told, I don’t know if I’m in love with her, I’ve never felt love before. He is right about one thing though; there is no boundary on this earth that’ll prevent me from protecting her or from finding out the truth. I know someone is hurting her or has hurt her in the past and I need to know who.
EMILIA
The last thing I want to be doing right now is shopping for a dress. When Cara wants to go shopping, it’s not a question, you’re going regardless.
“Oh come on, it’ll be fun, plus we both need something to wear to the charity dinner at the end of the month.” She’s trying to take my mind off everything and I’m thankful for it.
“Ok, but if you shove another pink number in my face, I’m not going to be held responsible for my actions, Cara.” I grimace at the neon pink dress she flings at me.
“Why no colour? You always wear black, branch out a little!” She giggles. It’s nice to see her happy. She’s been quiet lately, I think she’s grappling with her feelings for Cass. I’m hopeful it’ll work out for them one day.
I try on dress after dress, slowly retreating into myself a little bit more throughout the day. I don’t want to go to this charity dinner. I’m expected to go as the chief’s daughter, but I’m also going to be a prize on Tom’s arm. I don’t want Kade to witness me that way. He makes me want to be better, stronger, ruthless but the truth stares me in the face. A little voice in the back of my head saying, ‘you’re worthless, you’re damaged, he doesn’t want you, you’re a shell of a being.’
I try and distract myself from my harming thoughts and ask Cara, “What’s going on with you and Cass? You guys must see how perfect you are together.”
She scoffs “Cass doesn’t see me as anything more than a friend, no matter how many times I hint that I want more from him.” Sadness takes over her expression. She’s content being friends, but I know she wants more. She’s wanted him for the last two years but hasn’t done anything about it.
“Cara, men can’t take hints, like at all. You need to make it clear to him that’s what you want. Not only men, but Cass in particular, he couldn’t read a room if his life depended on it.” I giggled. It feels so good to laugh. It feels like it’s been years since I laughed properly. Cara looks shocked as she smiles at me.
“It’s so good to hear you laugh Em!” We both just erupt in uncontrollable laughter. Today has been a good day. One among the handfuls I can recall.
“So what should I do if he can’t catch on to my hinting?”
“Take an opportunity at the charity event and kiss him, that’ll do it.” Cara’s face pales, she looks like she’s going to vomit everywhere.
“Oh God, I’ve wanted to do that for so long, but the thought of actually doing it… I’m going to be sick.” The laughter still spills from me, I can’t hold it back.
“You’ll be fine, I have utter faith in you. He likes you Cara. He’s like a brother to me, I can tell.” I try and ease some of the pressure off and it seems to work. Her posture changes, her shoulders slumping slightly and her frown drops.
“How are you feeling with Thea’s anniversary tomorrow? Are you going to visit her?” She pressed.
“I’m ok, it’s always hard this time of year, but I’m doing better. I’ll go and see her tomorrow night. I’m actually looking forward to talking to her, I know that’s weird.” I’m hoping she doesn’t see through my lies. I’m drowning in grief and anger. I’ve gotten good at my mask. I’m hoping it pays off.
“It’s not weird at all, if it makes you feel better by talking to her then why not?” She flashes a sympathetic smile my way. I know she’s trying to make me feel better, but sometimes I hate the pity looks. It brings me back to the day of my mother’s funeral.
“Ok I think this is the one.” I pick a black sequined dress with a deep v in the front, exposing some cleavage, with two deep slits in both sides of the dress, showing plenty of my legs, and even the sides of my hips. I’m going to have to forgo underwear. I don’t normally wear anything so revealing, but it angers Tom, so the obvious choice is already made for me.
