Page 24

I still had the following day to get through, but with Brian at work, it wouldn’t be too much of an issue. My only concern was the evening. Friday nights were spent at the pub from the moment he finished work until closing time, and that was when he most often lost his temper.

“I can tell you’re worrying.” Gran appeared in the kitchen while I was washing the dishes, startling me. “You could always stay here.”

“I have to take Logan home. Mum’s already been on the phone asking why we’re not there. What do I say? Your no-good, piece of shit husband has been screwing a girl my age in your bed? That’s really going to go down well.”

“We talked about it, and you keep your mouth shut. At least for the time being. If he knows you’re not going to say anything, he’ll likely leave you alone.”

I rubbed my arms, remembering some of the beatings he’d given me, the punches and kicks he doled out with no concern for my safety. I could have fought back, but what can you do when your brain is screaming at you to protect yourself?

“I know he’s beaten you in the past. I don’t know why you don’t leave.” She brought me in for a hug, her frail arms wrapped tightly around me. Tears filled my eyes. When was the last time anyone had hugged me like this?

“I have nowhere to go, and before you say I can stay with you, I won’t bring you into the mess. Can you imagine what would happen if I did? One night on the beer and he’d be round here knocking on the door. You know what he’s like. Not to mention Mum.”

“I wish you’d had a different life. If your father had stayed. If your mum hadn’t married Brian…”

“No point with the ‘what-ifs’. Life is what it is, but until I can do something about it, I’m stuck living there. I just need to lie low for the next couple of days. Maybe going with Mac will be a good thing.”

I poked my head around the door to see Logan fast asleep on the sofa. It seemed such a shame to wake him.

“Let him sleep. I’ll call your mum and tell her you're staying here for the night. Your old room is made up. At least you can get a good night’s sleep.”

“Thanks, Gran.” I kissed her cheek and headed upstairs, suddenly bone tired. It had been a long day, fraught with worry. My nerves were on edge. What if Brian came around? What if he were home when we went back?

I’d already told Gran not to worry about ‘what-ifs’, and there was me doing the same thing. After using the bathroom, I stripped down to my boxers and slipped beneath the cool sheets, the old eiderdown on the bed heavy. I took a deep breath and inhaled the memories.

I relaxed my shoulders and took another deep, cleansing breath. I’d be happy with a couple of uninterrupted hours, and I closed my eyes, willing sleep to come.

I slept like a log, not waking once. I couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. Since Brian had moved in and shown his true colours, my nights were full of broken sleep, always on edge, waiting for what might happen.

Gran agreed we could stay tonight as well, giving us less chance of running into Brian. I wasn’t sure how she’d wrangle it, but she was a wily old woman and had her ways. The plan was to grab a change of clothes on Friday, then return there to sleep, but of course, plans change, and when we walked in on Friday afternoon, Mum was waiting.

“Logan needs to come shopping with me for his new uniform tomorrow, not hanging around your gran’s. I don’t know why you want to spend time with her. Crotchety old woman.”

Anger surged within me. Gran took us both in when she didn’t need to, and she’d looked after us, so to hear her speak like that really ground my gears.

“But Mum…” Logan protested. I glared at him, willing him to say nothing about our plans. I didn’t want them to know the real reason for my absence.

“Well, I’m going anyway. I promised we could watch a movie, and I said I’d run a few errands for her tomorrow.”

Mum eyed me suspiciously. Did she know something was up? I half expected her to tell me I couldn’t go out. It was Friday evening, after all; a bingo night usually, but something had come up, and the night had been cancelled, much to my relief.

If I was honest with myself, Logan not coming took a load off my mind. That boy could be trouble, and the last thing I wanted was for him to run riot at the barbecue, especially with people I didn’t know there.

I had nerves enough for both of us, and when Mac pulled up at midday on Saturday, I loitered by the front door, reluctant to open it.

Anxiety had always been a thing. I lived with it every day, but now it spiked. If it hadn’t been for Gran encouraging me to go outside and meet him, I’d have run upstairs and puked. Was I overdressed? Underdressed?

I’d picked out the best pair of jeans I owned, and Gran had surprised me with a new hoodie. Apparently, you could buy anything online, and have it delivered, she said, proud of her purchase.

“Have an amazing time, Frankie. Don’t you be thinking about any of us and just have some fun. You hear me?” She patted my cheek, a tear in her eye.

I climbed into the car and waved goodbye to her as we pulled off.

“Where’s Logan? I thought he was coming,” Mac asked as we headed off.

“Mum needed him to go for his uniform. School starts next week, and as usual, she’s left it to the last minute.”

“Well, we’ll have fun. The family is dying to meet you. Are you sure you’re okay with this? We could go somewhere else if it’d make you more comfortable. I’m aware I kind of dropped it on you.”