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“I’m going to move out. I had a run in with Mum on Sunday when I went home. She said some things that made me wonder what the fuck I was doing there. I know you and Gran think I should have moved out ages ago, but it’s not that easy when you have no money and no prospects.”
“Hey, you know I think it’s a good idea, and if there’s anything I can do to help, you only have to say. I could ask around, see if anyone has a place.”
“Thank you, but right now, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Whatever I can get will be helpful. And…”
“And?”
He clutched my hand tighter and looked around him. “I’m going to try the music college. Call them and see what I have to do to get in. You were right when you said I should do something with my music. By getting a job and finding somewhere else to live, I’ll be free to do what I want with no one telling me I’m a loser or to grow up.”
“Who said that?” I frowned but knew before he told me.
“Mum. She said it was about time I grew up. I’ll admit, I threatened to walk out. She soon backed down, begging me to stay. That’s when I might have suggested she check up on her husband.”
“You were looking for trouble, then.”
“Hmm, maybe? But she got me so fucking annoyed. Why can’t she love me like she loves Logan?”
I hated that she made him feel like that, but at least he’d come to that realisation and was doing something about it.
“Hey, who says she doesn’t still love you?” I said the words, but didn’t believe them myself. She’d made it abundantly clear what she thought of him the first time I met him.
“Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but we both know it’s not true.”
The pizza arrived, and he placed a slice on his plate, his face sullen.
“Frankie. Look at me.” He did as I asked, and I held his hand. “Some people don’t deserve children. Your mum nor Brian deserved you or your brother. You’ve sacrificed a lot to deal with their shit, and now you’re making the right decision to move on. It’s time to think of your future.”
I hoped for the foreseeable, that the future was with me, but it was too soon to make those kinds of decisions.
Wasn’t it?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
FRANKIE
Mac was doing a fine job of making me feel better. He always knew the right thing to say, and I smiled at his words.
“Yeah, the future. I’ve never really thought of it before, but it’s gonna be now or never. You know some of this is down to you. I see what you’ve achieved, what your sisters are achieving at my age. I’m a loser.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Hear me out. I could have done something about it sooner. I could have got a job, but I took the easy way out and stayed at home and didn’t argue about looking after Logan. But now it has to change.”
“I’m so proud of you.” As was his usual habit, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. I was secretly pleased when he did it. Made me feel special and wanted. “When all is said and done, you’re not giving up, and that’s what matters. You’re showing up and trying your hardest.”
“Better late than never.” But the pizza was going cold, and we spent the next fifteen minutes eating.
“Do you want that last piece?” His hand hovered over it. “I mean, you can have it if you want.”
“Take it. I know you want it.”
“Oh, I want it all right.” He winked and slid the slice into his mouth. I watched with rapt attention, thoughts of what else I could slip into his mouth running riot.
“You know, we could finish up here and go back to your place.” I bit my lip and dropped my eyes to his, watching how he licked the sauce with his tongue.
“I’m not against that suggestion. I’ll go pay the bill.”
He finished the slice, wiped his mouth with the napkin, and headed to the till to pay.