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The house on Glenwood belongs to four juniors Paige or Kenzie can name, and by the time we get there, it has about sixty people in it and the music is coming through the front windows. The guys are already there. Koda is on the porch with a cup, and when he sees me, he points at me with it. “Blondie’s here.”

“Hi, Koda.”

Nash is behind him in the doorway in a black hoodie with his shoulder against the frame and his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t come over or say anything. He just looks at me for about two seconds, and my stomach squeezes.

Koda looks me up and down, then Paige. Paige notices and puts a hand up in his face on her way past. “Come on, Blondie,” she mocks, dragging me inside by the wrist.

We get drinks, and I expect Nash to follow. He doesn’t. He stays on the porch with the guys, and I watch him take a sip and not look my way once. I don’t know why I thought he’d spend the whole night beside me, and then I scold myself because he’s not my boyfriend, and even if he were, I should be having fun with my friends. I try to focus on that. My body knows exactly where he is anyway, and my eyes keep wandering in his direction.

Paige hands me a shot glass, and I throw back whatever’s in it. It burns all the way down. It doesn’t drown out the voice telling me to go to him. What does work is Kenzie and Paige dancing with me. Then, Paige suddenly starts dancing on some random guy. Kenzie and I look at each other, confused, and neither of us asks. Maybe she and Koda aren’t that serious.

Bianca shows up with two friends, and I start to understand that our friend group keeps getting bigger. We’re a whole pack of girls having fun, and the bottle of vodka hates to see us coming.

A few drinks in, my filter is gone. I’ve used the bathroom twice and checked that I look pretty both times. The second time, I don’t go straight back to the girls. I walk into the kitchen, where Nash is leaning against the far wall with Koda and Rafe and a few guys I don’t know, and I walk right into the middle of their conversation. They don’t stop for me. I take the cup out of Nash’s hand, drink from it while staring at him, and then turn around and lean back against him, my whole body pressed against his.

He puts his arm around my shoulders and takes his cup back and drinks from it, watching me. “Having fun?” he murmurs while his friends glance at us and keep talking.

“Now I am.”

I steal his cup again, finish it, and walk back to the girls on the couch, grinning so hard that Kenzie asks if I’m okay.

I nod, looking over her shoulder. “Theo! Did you do it?”

He’s looking at me like he’s terrified. I’d like that to stop.

Kenzie pulls me into her and laughs. “Yes, he did his homework.”

That’s when I see the girl next to him staring at me with a dozen questions on her face.

“Oh,” I laugh. “Oh, God. I’m—” I shake my head. I’m so drunk. I cover my mouth. “I’m sorry.”

“This is Justine,” Kenzie says.

“Hi. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Kylie.”

Theo sips his drink. I look toward the kitchen, and Nash is watching me, so I cover my mouth so Theo can’t see and mouth, He did it, and give Nash a thumbs-up. Nash looks at Theo and the girl, then back at me. I smile big and lean into Kenzie.

Half the group peels off to play a card drinking game, and Paige and I are too drunk for it, and Kenzie knows it. So Paige and I stick together. We dance and tell each other secrets, and somehow we end up upstairs, because we’ve convinced ourselves we deserve a house tour. We walk into the master bedroom, and it’s empty, and we both squeal and lock the door behind us to snoop.

Paige goes straight to the window, cracks it, and pulls a joint out of her bra.

“We should do this at every party,” I say.

“Yeah.” She lights it, takes a long pull, and blows the smoke out into the cold. Then she lies down on the bed, and I lie down next to her. “The party’s so tame that the master bedroom is empty.”

I laugh. “Should we call Koda and Nash up here?”

She laughs too. “Did you fuck him yet?”

That makes everything inside me tighten. “Not yet. I really want to.”

“Should I call him up here?”

“No!” I’m laughing. “Not here.”

“Are you entering your post-breakup hoe era?”

I giggle. “I never had a hoe era.”