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“There we go.”
“I just don’t know what it means yet.”
“That’s different.”
I turn my head toward her.
She shrugs. “Not knowing what happens next isn’t the same thing as not knowing what’s happening now.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I just don’t know what happens when all of this is over.”
She looks around the guest room. “Christmas?”
“Christmas. Break. Whatever.” I pick at a loose thread in the blanket. “This is easy right now. We’re here. Nobody has class. He doesn’t have games. I’m sleeping across the hall from him in his parents’ house.”
“You say that like college is another continent.”
“It kind of feels like one.”
She gives me a look.
“I’m serious. I don’t know what we are when everything starts again.”
Kylie is quiet for a second.
Then she says, “Okay. That makes more sense.”
I look at her. “It’s not just him, anyway.”
“What isn’t?”
“Why I don’t know what happens next.”
She waits.
“I might not be at Woodbury next year.”
Kylie pushes herself up on one elbow. “What?”
“Scholarships, financial aid, loans. I find out in January if I’m awarded another year, but I have a gut feeling it won’t happen. So that means I have until summer to figure out a business and rent a place somewhere. Or just get a job like a normal person.”
She blinks. “Shit.” She takes a moment to think. “Not shit because I’m worried about you. You’re a hard worker, and you’re going to make it happen, but shit because I was hoping we could still live together next year.”
I look at her now. “We could be roommates, I just won’t be at Woodbury.”
She sits up. “Wait. No, I love that idea! I swear Paige wants to move out of the dorms, too. Let me text her and ask.”
“Wait,” I say. “Can you wait until January? I’m waiting for the email to know for sure.”
She puts her phone down. “Yeah. I’ll try to keep my mouth shut. I’ll just plant seeds for now.”
She smiles at me, and I smile back.
“Thanks.”
The night of New Year’s Eve, nobody goes anywhere.
Mrs. Waleska makes too much food. Mr. Waleska opens a bottle of something and lets us each have half a glass, which Koda holds up to the light like it’s a jewel. The Christmas tree’s still lit. The fire’s going. We’re all in the front room with a ball dropping in NYC on the TV. People are cheering in the cold, and a man in a parka is counting down from a minute.
