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Taken aback, her ladyship said, “You speak nonsense, Darcy! What has gotten into you?”

Richard shuffled into the room and drew everyone’s attention. “There you are, Fitzwilliam. Your cousin states that he will not marry my Anne, and he does not care about Hercules. He alludes to being engaged to another, but he will not tell me anything about the young woman. What say you about all this?”

Elizabeth needed to speak with her aunt. Now that Lord Holland had stated his intentions towards her in no uncertain terms, she was even more persuaded she would be restless and dissatisfied with her current circumstance. Elizabeth wished for nothing more than to avoid Bosley’s society altogether. Longbourn is where she longed to be.

Elizabeth’s footsteps echoed quietly as she walked through the corridor of Barrington Hall with sadness she did not think herself capable of when she first arrived in Bosley. Portraits of Barrett family members lined the panelled walls. While Barrington Hall was not her home and did not have the feeling of being home, she had taught herself to appreciate its ostentatious opulence—not because her own tastes had changed, but because this was a reflection of Lady Vanessa’s taste. All of this meant something to her aunt. Even the thought that Lady Vanessa had meant for Elizabeth to one day own all of this was not something Elizabeth took for granted. Her late husband, a man that Elizabeth never even knew, had bequeathed his entire fortune to Lady Vanessa, and she had thought to make Elizabeth her sole heir and beneficiary.

Elizabeth found her aunt in the library. She took the seat opposite her. “Might I have a word with you, your ladyship?”

“Of course, you may, my dear. What is on your mind?”

“I have decided to return to Hertfordshire. I am not indifferent to the kindness you have bestowed, but Longbourn is where I need to be, so do not try to dissuade me.”

“Elizabeth, my dear, I will not attempt to change your mind. If I know you at all, I know you value the strength of your convictions. You know your own mind. I could not change it, even if I wish. You have no doubt given this a great deal of thought.”

“I have.”

“Well, I cannot help but consider that this has to do with Mr. Darcy’s leave-taking. What a shame that is too. And my dear nephew—surely you know by now how he feels about you.”

“I am painfully aware of Lord Holland’s sentiments, your ladyship. But I cannot pretend to enjoy similar feelings, nor am I able to hope that I ever will. An alliance between the two of us would subject us both to misery of the acutest kind.”

“I will remind you of the terms of my agreement with your father.”

Elizabeth listened without speaking as Lady Vanessa continued to make her opinion known; so much for her earlier statement about not attempting to change Elizabeth’s mind. However, she was right in saying that any efforts to that effect would be in vain. Elizabeth had thought long and hard on the matter and had formed the conclusion that she could no longer be contented in a place that reminded her so much of Mr. Darcy. She knew if she left now, there was no turning back. She would return to Longbourn with nothing, and her family would be right where they started. She and her sisters would have no connections and no fortune. Any hope her mother held for most advantageous alliances for all her daughters as a consequence of her ladyship’s largess would be considerably diminished.

The next morning, Elizabeth stared out the window of her apartment and observed the tranquil countryside for what she was sure would be the last time. Her sister’s drawings were removed from the walls, and all her belongings were packed. The room was just as she had found it months prior. She wondered how her father would take the news of her returning to Hertfordshire with no assurances of his sister’s intentions. Surely Papa will not fault me. She twisted her lower lip and shook her head. If only the same could be said of my mother.

CHAPTER 12

GUILT AND MISERY

The stifling silence in the carriage forced Darcy to relive his bitter argument with Lady Catherine the day before he took his leave of Kent. Her judgement had been harsh. Her criticisms were severe when she had nothing more on which to base her low opinion of Elizabeth other than Richard’s mentioning that the young woman whom Darcy intended to marry was William Collins’s cousin.

This is not to be borne, her ladyship had sworn. Do you know how low an alliance with a woman with such relations would render you in the eyes of the world? She had encouraged Darcy to call on the Collinses to see for himself just how low that young woman’s connections truly were. My own parson to be cousin to my nephew! When Darcy could not be prevailed upon to call on the parson and his wife, both strangers to him, her ladyship insisted upon inviting the couple to tea so Darcy might see for himself the manner of people with whom he would be associating should he persist in the notion of offering his hand to Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Lord Matlock was equally disappointed, but not nearly as disparaging. The morning Darcy left Kent, his lordship had taken him aside to speak man to man. “I have observed a change in you. From what Richard says, this young woman might not enjoy an ideal temperament for a man of your passions.”

“Richard is an idiot! What does he know about what is right for me?”

“An idiot, as you say, he may be, but in this case, I am inclined to agree with him. It is incomprehensible that you are not planning to attend the upcoming Waltham Mile or even the Ascot races, the most celebrated of them all, preferring instead to return to Bosley to woo this young woman.”

“I am no less passionate for the sport, my lord. It is simply that I am more passionate for Miss Bennet. Winning at Richland was a hollow victory. Acquiring Hercules now feels a trivial matter as well. None of this means anything to me without Miss Bennet by my side. I would give it all up if it meant winning her heart.”

“Do you not consider you may be behaving too precipitously? You hardly know this young woman.”

“When a man meets the woman with whom he is destined to share his life, he knows.”

Some hours later, Darcy’s carriage arrived at Avondale. His first order of business was speaking with his old friend. Lord Holland stood to greet Darcy when he was shown into the room. “Darcy, you have returned.”

“I have, just as I said I would, and I am anxious to rectify any ill feelings.”

“Will you join me in a toast to your safe arrival?”

Darcy acquiesced and took a drink. After engaging in talk of trivial matters, Darcy said, “I will allow that you were doing what you felt was needed in admonishing me for my unguarded behaviour with Miss Bennet. No doubt, you care for her. In hindsight, I confess to making mistakes. I might have exercised⁠—”

Lord Holland interrupted. “We both made mistakes.”

“That is the reason I came back sooner than I had planned. I made it perfectly clear to my family where my priorities lie. Now I need only call on Miss Bennet at Barrington Hall and attempt to make amends.”