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“I will allow that I have made mistakes and suffered in your opinion because of it, but I will make things right again. I promise.”
Elizabeth thought long on the matter of whether or not to be truly happy about Mr. Darcy’s return. She had to admit that she was quite unhappy during the time they were apart. That emptiness she felt subsequent to his leave-taking was replaced merely by his smile when they greeted each other the evening before. Still, he made it abundantly clear that matters of business—nay, sport were of utmost importance to him.
“I am actually surprised that you have come, Mr. Darcy. Does your being here mean that one of your horses is not racing in Ascot?”
Darcy’s countenance spoke to his amazement that she was knowledgeable of such a thing.
“I would be lying if I said I have not been following the sport since I was introduced to it in Bosley.”
“I am competing in Ascot. However, that does not mean I will be there. I am exactly where I need to be. My cousin Richard will oversee my interests.”
“Ah, your cousin Richard.”
“You say that as though you do not approve of him.”
“He is perfectly amiable, but I suspect he took a little too much pleasure in being the one to inform Lady Vanessa and me of your plans to leave Bosley in the manner in which he did.”
“Well, he was doing my aunt Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s bidding. I believe that once you get better acquainted with him, you will like him very much.”
“You presume a great deal to suppose he and I will ever lay eyes on each other again.”
“What else can I do? To suppose the two of you will never meet again would be to admit that I have failed miserably in my quest to win your heart. That, I assure you, is unacceptable.”
“Mr. Darcy, may I speak frankly?”
“Please do.”
“First, I will admit to being flattered by your attention. What is more, I have missed spending time with you. I did not enjoy feeling as I did during the time we were apart. But that is the thing; I did not like feeling that way. Rather than risk feeling that way again, I would rather feel nothing at all.”
“Surely you do not mean what you are saying.”
“I am rather certain I do.”
Darcy captured her hand in his. “I know what this is about. You are afraid.” Gently massaging her palm, he said, “I know I disappointed you by my precipitous leave-taking from Bosley. At the time, I supposed I had no other choice. However, I quickly came to know that my reasons for leaving so abruptly were paltry and inconsequential. Had I to do it again, my choice would be different.”
Elizabeth neither confirmed nor denied the veracity of his sentiments. Instead, she pulled her hand away from his tender grasp and put a bit of distance between them.
Darcy remained in place and clutched his hands behind his back. However, he would not be dissuaded from his purpose. “It is understandable that you are reluctant to give away your heart. You fear feeling again as you did when you lost your sister. Believe me, I understand. I liken your feelings to those I suffered when I lost my mother at such a young age. I closed myself off from the world, knowing that in so doing, I might never suffer the heartrending pain of loss again. But life does not work that way. I had to learn to relinquish my inhibitions and dare to live life to its fullest. I ask that you do the same.”
“You will admit then that there is something to be said about protecting oneself.”
“Yes, but you do not need to protect yourself from me. I would never do anything to hurt you. I cannot swear that I will never disappoint you again, for I am sure I most certainly will. Neither of us is perfect. As long as we live and embrace life to its fullest, we shall be subjected to those human frailties that render disillusionment. Such is the joy in living, giving something of ourselves to the unpredictable, the uncertainty.”
“Mr. Darcy, I—”
Darcy quickly approached her and brushed his thumb across her lower lip. “Miss Bennet, I cannot tell you how much I missed you while I was away from Bosley—away from you.” By now, they were standing rather close. He leaned in, even as he sensed her pulling away.
His delicate touch took her breath away. She felt the heat spread over her body as she pressed her hands to his chest. “This is all happening too fast.”
“I know it might seem that way, but for me, this has been too long in coming.” She had not rejected him, and that alone was encouraging enough. His mood lightened, he held up his hands in mock surrender. “However, I am a patient man.”
This portrait of him brought an amused smile to Elizabeth’s face.
“What? It is true, and I shall prove it to you.”
“We shall see, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth tore her eyes away from his and gazed at the mid-morning sky. “It is getting late. My family will wonder what is keeping me.”
“May I see you back to the village?”