Page 45

“Frost actually wanted to come back,” Gray said, his voice sounded far away as he lay sprawled across my chest. “I think he might be a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”

Laughter rumbled through me, moving my chest and raising Gray’s body with it. “I would not tell him that, or his vampire mate.”

“Didn’t plan on it. Despite what current circumstances suggest, I do not actually have a death wish.” Gray shifted so his chest lay against mine, his chin resting on his crossed hands.

My fingers slid through Gray’s soft, white hair, shifting it away from his face and watching it slip through my fingers, tumbling back across his forehead. “You should leave. I should be making you leave instead of lying in bed with you.”

Gray scoffed. “As if you could make me leave. I’d like to see you try.” His eyes narrowed, promising pain if I so much as attempted to remove him from his current position.

“Duly noted.” A low hum sounded through the air, and it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize I was making the noise.

“I love the way you sound. The way you feel,” Gray said, his tone blissed out. “That probably sounds weird to you.”

It didn’t. “Not at all.” What it sounded like was…everything. Everything I’d never known I wanted or needed. I was grateful I’d never known this feeling was possible. If I had, I would have mourned day in and day out for the lack of it. Now that I knew, I feared losing it. Feared losing Gray. That fear sat heavier in my chest than thoughts of wyvern-induced destruction.

Lights low, Gray and I lay together in near darkness. My rooms were one of the few that had natural light. Nighttime allowed little of the moon or stars to filter through.

“It was nice, seeing Hikaru when he wasn’t so sad,” Gray softly said. “I can see how he might be annoying, but he’s also funny.”

I scoffed. “You wouldn’t be so quick to say that if you’d been around during his childhood. Let me just say, raising a kitsune took more than a village. I have no idea how Inari does it alone.”

Gray shifted his head, his light blue eyes stared up at me while an amused grin tilted his lips. “Being a goddess probably helps.” Gray had the audacity to wink.

“Brat,” I half-ass answered, my hand reaching down and squeezing Gray’s ass. His hitched breath and half-mast eyelids indicated he liked the attention. That little spark of magic I carried within me wholeheartedly agreed. “Is this okay?” I asked. Verbal consent was still important.

“More than okay,” Gray answered, sounding drunk. “Maybe not the best time for it though. I don’t want to start something we can’t finish. Time’s a-tickin’. We don’t know when this Lazarus guy’s gonna show up.”

“Too true.” I should not sound or feel as lax as I did. This wasn’t me. It wasn’t my normal reaction. I should be pacing my rooms, maybe even the compound. Most likely I’d be pacing Keir’s quarters, unwilling to leave him.

In a startlingly short amount of time, Gray had changed me. No, that wasn’t quite right. He hadn’t changed who I was; he’d changed how I responded to things. It was like that little spark of magic Gray shared with me placed all my priorities in a box, shook them up, and rearranged them. A part of me thought maybe I should be upset by that. That part was soundly silenced by the contented joy radiating through me.

Having someone to take care of, someone that depended on you, was sobering. It was not a position I took lightly. What it also did was give me a sense of purpose, maybe a true sense of being. It was as if this was what I’d been created for. Keir didn’t need me, not truly. That didn’t mean we weren’t friends and that he didn’t care for me. But this was different. Gray was different. I did something for Grayson Delarue that few others could. Perhaps no other.

But it wasn’t simply about being needed, although, admittedly, that was a heady feeling. It was about being wanted. That little spark of magic didn’t lie. It couldn’t. Magic was perhaps the most honest presence in all the world, and Gray’s let me know every second of every minute of every day that it wanted me. And that was more addictive than any drug.

“I can’t believe Warlock Holland offered to meet with the wyvern,” Gray said, his mind traveling back to Hikaru and Nikodemus. “I’ve never heard of an altruistic warlock,” Gray mused out loud while his fingers traced meaningless circles along my abs and chest. “It’s strange.”

I agreed. “Holland does seem a bit different.”

“Do you think Hikaru pressured him to do so?”

I would have shrugged if I’d been in a more amenable position to do so. “Not sure, although I suspicion he had something to do with it.” Maybe Holland felt some sort of responsibility toward the Magical Usage Council after what the previous director of the Warlock Council had attempted to do. If that were true, then Keir and Holland had more in common than I’d previously thought.

“I’m not sure if Holland’s presence would matter or not.” Gray’s fingers stilled before starting their soothing motion again. “I hate not knowing. I can’t imagine what this is doing to Keir.”

“I know.” Now that I knew what it was like, having Gray with me, a piece of his magic inside me, I understood what true loneliness was. Keir was surrounded by individuals who loved and cared about him, but he didn’t have this. Gray and I had barely kissed, let alone done anything else sexual, and yet the level of intimacy we shared was beyond description. In that moment, I felt great pity and sorrow for my old friend. Not everyone desired this level of closeness, but I knew Keir well enough to understand that it was something he craved, even if it had never been spoken aloud.

“I wonder how long⁠—”

“He’s here.” Elvira’s upper half slid through the wall, just enough to make her presence known. She didn’t wait for a response. Instead, Elvira disappeared just as fast as she arrived.

“How have you not died of fright by now?” Gray asked, sitting up and roughly running his fingers through his hair. “She just pops in and out like that.” Gray snapped his fingers. “One minute there, and then poof, she’s gone. Feels like my heart is about to pound its way out of my chest.”

Sitting up with him, I tugged my shirt down and answered, “You get used to it.”

“Not likely,” Gray grunted as he bent over the side of the bed, searching for his shoes. “She didn’t say where they were.”

“She didn’t have to. They’re in Keir’s quarters, where the eggs are.”