The Mountain Man’s Curvy Plaid Surprise
Page 18
She takes a deep breath and sniffs loudly. If she wasn’t so upset and forlorn, she’d be fuckin’ cute and kissable. I twist to reach into the cabinet behind me and hand her a roll of toilet paper.
“Thanks,” she mumbles and hastily wipes her eyes and nose. Then she takes a deep breath and holds my gaze. “Your ex called again while you were outside.”
“Andreyah?”
Her brows arch and she wipes at fresh tears. “You have more than one?”
“No.”
She almost smiles at my appalled denial. “She said some things.”
Uh oh. This isn’t going to be good. “Like what?”
“Like you were going back to her and you’ll be super successful together. Like… like I’m just a momentary distraction. And basically a gold digger who will move on to another guy after you go back to her. Where you really want to be.”
“That bitch.”
“Yeah, that’s what she called me, too.”
I curl my fingers under her chin and wipe away a stray tear with a gentle swipe of my thumb. “You shouldn’t listen to what people like her say. It’s definitely not worth any more of your tears. She’s not worth it.”
“I know. People have talked about me all my life. My skin has grown pretty thick. It isn’t just her. I’m scared Pete’s going to do something to hurt you. He was so angry. And… and he had that gun. What if he comes back?”
“Then I will deal with him. He’s a blowhard, not worth all these tears either.”
She stares at me in silence for a long time, catching and releasing her plump lower lip with her teeth. There’s a decision she’s trying to make or accept. I’ll wait for her to reveal it for as long as she needs me to.
“I’m not going anywhere, darlin’.”
She drops her gaze and draws in a deep breath. When she looks at me again, determination fills her expression. “All my life I’ve been told that I’m either too much, or not enough. I’ve never been able to figure out which I am at any particular moment. So, I stop trying. I… I don’t feel like I’ve ever really been successful at anything.”
“You told me you were good at quilting. And the people you took care of in the nursing homes always wanted you as their aide because you knew how to do things the right way for them. That sounds like success to me.”
“But my folks—”
“Were not good parents. You’ve said enough about them that I know they never encouraged you. When you did accomplish something, they either turned that against you somehow or gave credit to your sister. Some people should never have kids.”
“I always wanted kids.” Her voice is tiny and sad. “But I don’t know if I’d be a good mom.”
I’d never given kids of my own a thought either, until this moment. The possibility of having children with Clover fills my chest with an emotion I can’t describe. It’s more than love. More than belonging. Home? Is that an emotion? Doesn’t matter. A family with her would be my home. “You will be a fabulous mother.”
She shrugs. “What if this, my emotional state never gets any better? Sometimes I feel so powerless. Do you know the real reason I run away from people, from relationships?”
“Tell me.”
Tears line her lashes. “Because everyone always leaves me for some reason. So, I tell myself it won’t hurt so much if… if I leave first. And I don’t know… if… if I’ll ever get over this. Will I always be looking for a reason to run?”
“Were you looking for one tonight?” My teeth clench as I wait for her answer. My next move depends on what she says.
“Yes.”
My heart drops. I’m not sure how to fix this.
“And no. I didn’t want you to see me like this.” Her hiccup makes her chuckle. “I’m sorry, I’m a mess.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, darlin’.”
“I came in here for my suitcase. But when I saw it, I knew I couldn’t leave. At least not without telling you why. Then I couldn’t figure out that why. Sugar lumps, I couldn’t leave without knowing some plausible reason, a why that makes sense. See, I’m a confused, mixed up mess. You’ll be better off when I’m not here anymore.”