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Looking back on it, I couldn’t help but break out in a little laughter of my own. Andi had just gotten done giving me the greatest head of my life, all to be ousted by the best hockey player in the league.

“We were over at Spencer’s house. Andi is actually best friends with his girlfriend, and they have these dinners every Sunday. We were … having a moment before dinner and came out looking like two college kids owning their walk of shame. Somehow, this led to Andi’s other best friend calling Jayson. He’s usually at these dinners when he can be, so she wanted him to feel included in the gossip. Long story short, Andi and I were the gossip of the evening.”

“Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that conversation would have been fucking great.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you could have literally been the coach in the locker room instead, but … you weren’t.”

The hockey player in us made it natural for me to give him shit and for him to serve it right back. It was always how our friendship had been, and even though our lives and job descriptions had changed, we sure hadn’t.

“Whatever, man. Anyway, you like this girl?”

“Without actually putting a title on it, she’s basically my … girlfriend.”

Fuck.

The sound of that word. Girlfriend. It was the perfect fit for Andi. She was girlfriend material even if before me she was one hell of a playgirl. But I’d only ever had one girlfriend in my entire life, and she turned into my wife.

“And that doesn’t scare you?” My best friend wasn’t judging, but it was fair of him to ask. He’d seen me go through hell, and I think him and I both knew that I wouldn’t be able to go through something like that again.

There wasn’t a right answer to that question. ‘Yes’ seemed like I was running away from the single greatest thing to stumble into my life, and ‘No’ seemed like a bold-faced lie. There would always be a small piece of me scared to give my heart away after I’d been heartbroken and left with no answers in the past.

I took a beat to answer, even though it was clear as day to me how I felt when it came to Andi.

“I actually feel happy for the first time in, fuck … you know how long, man.” I ran my fingers through my wavy blond hair.

“And you know I want you to find that happiness again, right?” It was obvious he was walking on eggshells.

“Yeah, of course. So, why does it sound like there is something else on your mind?”

“You’re my best fucking friend, Hunter. I’ll stand by you no matter what. But this one makes me a little nervous.” He scratched the scruff along his beard.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what is she doing right now?”

Lifting my Rolex, I checked the time. “She’s getting ready for work,” I answered, cocking my head in confusion.

“Exactly. There is no shame, man. Don’t get me wrong, but she works at a sex club. What does that look like for you? For your future with her?”

There it was.

I’d been so caught up in this fairytale that I hadn’t thought about Andi at work. Of course, I knew she was going to work when I was doing work of my own. I just never allowed myself to get to the point of jealousy. There hadn’t been a reason for me to drop into the club with her in my bed every night.

It was one of those out of sight, out of mind situations. But Carter had a way of bringing me back to reality.

“I … I don’t really know, I guess.”

“Don’t lose sleep over it. Just keep it at the top of your mind when you’re thinking about what you want for your future. I know you never saw yourself settling down again, but maybe she changes things. So, just think about it, okay?”

“Yeah, man. Thanks.” I offered a quick nod before Carter excused himself.

For the first time in the last couple of months, I was finally having a moment of clarity. Asking myself the hard questions. Of course, I never judged Andi for what she did for a living, but I hadn’t watched her in action since my heart grew twice in size in what seemed like overnight.

Hell, could I move forward and build a life with her if she wasn’t truly one hundred percent mine? If she had her body on display for other men and women to fantasize over, did that take away from the sacredness of our relationship?

The more I mulled it over in my mind, I realized my feelings were bigger than I ever imagined they could be. I didn’t know when or if I’d be ready to tell her, because saying those three words meant shit was about to get real.

I couldn’t take those words back. They were words you only gave to those who you held to the highest standards, and it felt like an entirely different life from now and the last time I had shared those words back when I was married to Sarah.