Page 88

“More than anything,” I finally answered. “I need her in my life. She makes me a better man. But I just want to be able to do the same for her.”

“You know … I’ve seen you make her a better person, Hunter.” Transferring the veggies to the sauté pan, he paused, mulling over his words before adding, “You helped her find her dream job. That’s huge! And I see her at work from time to time. I see that she enjoys her job. You did that, man.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I thought about the ways in which I’d helped change Andi’s life—hopefully for the better—in just our brief time together.

Her brother.

Her job.

Falling in love.

Deep down, I guess I knew it all along. That just as much as she improved my life, I’d done the same for her. But there was that little voice nagging at me inside my head, saying that even if I had made her life better here and there, would it be worth putting up with me in my darkest moments if it meant I could drag her down into the pits with me?

I’d never know if I didn’t try.

All I knew was that even if I was trying my best to come up from that dark place right now, I didn’t want to imagine a life where she didn’t exist.

I needed her by my side through it all. The good, bad, and the ugly.

“I might need your help with something.”

“I’ll help you with anything as long as you promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” I was desperate.

“Make sure you’re keeping up with therapy regularly. I know you’ve been off and on with it over the years, but after something this big has happened, I think it’s important that you check in.”

It was moments like these where I never believed I deserved a friend like Carter in my life. He’d always been by my side, advocating for my mental health from the very beginning. The least I could do to show him how much I appreciated his friendship and cared for my well-being as much as he did was to be sure I was a regular on my therapist’s calendar.

“Of course, man. Thank you.”

Carter nodded, adding some chicken to the pan with the diced veggies, and with a smirk on his face, he threw an “Atta boy” over his shoulder, already knowing exactly what I was asking of him.

Before I could get my girl back, even though I was feeling eager to close the gap on all the time I’d spent away from Andi, I needed to focus on fixing myself before anything else.

Therapy first. Then I’d hope like hell she really did love me like her text said.

I needed her to hear that with everything inside of me, I loved her too.

As the days passed, the pain coursing through my veins hadn’t gotten any more bearable. Even though it was difficult, over time it became easier to plaster a smile on my face and pretend like I wasn’t dying inside.

It was always harder at night and when I woke up in the morning. In between it all, I filled my time with my girls, sitting at Bluff City as Colton made me martinis, or I threw myself into work. As long as I was packing my schedule with busy work and distractions, it meant I didn’t have to think about Hunter.

Although just about everything reminded me of him, and that was something I needed to come to terms with.

He’d always be there.

Just like right now, as I sat inside my car, staring out at the oval structure that happened to be the one place with the highest probability of running into Hunter.

I knew one day he’d be back to work. He couldn’t hide forever. And with playoffs right around the corner, there wasn’t a world where Hunter didn’t show up for his team as they progressed through each round.

Maybe today would be the day.

Or maybe not. Eventually, I’d stop getting my hopes up.

I just wanted some damn proof of life. How fucking hard did it have to be?

If he didn’t want to text me or call me, that’s fine. I could live with that. But if he could just show up to the arena, so I knew he was alive and well, I would really appreciate it.