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Her scream broke against my mouth as my knees threatened to give beneath me, her fingers instantly loosening around the dagger as instinct begged her to take back what she had done.

I covered her hand with mine.

“No,” I rasped against her lips, holding the blade inside me when she tried to pull it free.

Her beautiful face crumpled. “Rythos⁠—”

“It’s… all right, my love.”

It was not.

A violent pulse travelled through the rot beneath my feet and surged into my body, the darkness threaded through my veins.

My very soul began to slip from me, draining away with every slowing beat of my heart as the edges of my vision pulsed and dizziness threatened to sweep me under.

My shadows recoiled beneath my skin, bones aching as a thousand years of borrowed time slipped from me.

Still, I looked only at her.

My knees gave out and slammed against the ground.

Lyra was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe, as she lowered me to the ground.

Silver hair clung to her wet cheeks as she stared at the dagger buried between us like she had just destroyed the world all over again.

And gods, I had never loved her more.

I wanted to tell her not to cry. Wanted to tell her it would be okay.

But my mouth would not move.

My little drownling.

Her mouth moved, shaping words I could no longer hear. The sound of her voice disappeared beneath the roar filling my ears, until even that began to fade.

Fear spread through me, tingling along my nerves as she disappeared one sense at a time.

My lungs seized as I fought for another breath, desperate for one more second of her, but blood flooded the back of my throat, and I spluttered around the metallic warmth pooling in my mouth.

Her face… blurred.

Her warmth…

Darkness.

Home.

Chapter Fifty

Grief

Lyra

“No,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I repeated the words as though enough apologies might somehow call him back to me, but the light continued fading from his eyes no matter how desperately I begged.

Eyes that had once looked at me with such consuming love now stared empty towards the ceiling, a single tear slipping silently down his cheek.

I pressed my face against his chest while blood seeped around the dagger lodged through his heart, listening for the beat that was supposed to mirror mine.