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I squeezed my eyes shut and sucked in a sharp breath as memories flooded me. Rough hands shoving my dress up. The priest murmuring prayers in hot breaths against my ear while I struggled beneath his grip as he pushed inside me⁠—

“You are safe,” Helion whispered, cutting through the memory, as though he could feel the panic rising inside me through the bond.

His hands moved slowly as he undressed me, careful and deliberate, intentionally avoiding my bare skin as though even the smallest touch might undo us both. He took my hand and guided me toward the bath, but I staggered halfway there, catching myself against the marble basin with a shaky hand. My gaze lifted to the mirror before quickly glancing away in disgust.

Large turquoise eyes had stared back at me, bright with unshed tears. Shadows bruised the pale skin beneath them, hollowing my face until I barely recognised the woman staring back at me. I couldn’t look at myself.

My fingers closed around the shaving knife resting beside the basin. I slipped it behind my back as I turned to Helion and forced a small, reassuring smile onto my face.

His gaze lingered on me for a moment too long, like he knew something was wrong but was choosing not to push. Either that or he was in too much pain himself.

My breath caught when he lifted me into the bath without a word, helping me sink slowly into the warmth. I wrapped my arms around my legs, pulling them tightly against my chest as though I could hold myself together by force alone as heat pressed against my frozen body, sinking deep into my aching muscles and frigid bones. A shaky breath escaped me as the water lapped softly against my skin, steam curling through the cold air in pale ribbons.

For the first time since awakening, the coldness ebbed.

I closed my eyes briefly, letting the warmth loosen the tight knot of pain coiled beneath my ribs while the scent of cedar smoke and unfamiliar spices filled the room.

“If you keep pushing your emotions down, they will eventually explode,” Helion said, sliding down against the bathroom wall until he sat with his knees bent and his corded arms resting on his knees.

“I’m fine,” I seethed, turning my face away from him and fixing my gaze on the plain ceiling, as if I could will it to crack open and swallow me whole.

“You’ve been through so much,” he said, voice low, almost thoughtful. “It’s impossible for you to be fine.”

My jaw tightened, hand tightening around the shaver’s knife in my hand. “Because of you, Helion.”

Silence stretched between us for a moment, and I dragged my stare back to him. His head was dipped, lips pressed together as a dark look passed over his face.

“Riven,” he corrected, voice carefully controlled as if he were keeping something leashed.

A hollow laugh tore from my throat, sharp and brittle. “Riven was my friend.” I turned towards him, water shifting violently with the movement. “You are a manipulative liar.”

The air thickened. “I’ve been through so much because of you!”

My voice cracked through the room, and the water surged over the edges in a sudden, violent wave that slapped against the tiles.

But he didn’t flinch. Just watched me steadily, like my anger was something he’d expected. Something he deserved.

He’d been behind everything. Every cut through my flesh. Every lashing. Every violation of my body. Rythos’ curse. The monsters plaguing the realms. He was pure evil.

“I know,” he whispered.

His grey eyes had lost their usual spark, the colour deepening until they looked like storm clouds swollen with rain. His gaze fell to his hands, his shoulders folding beneath a burden no one else could see, as though the weight of every choice he had ever made had finally become too heavy to carry.

“I was never supposed to become your friend,” he said quietly. “I was sent to steal you.” His laugh was hollow, devoid of all the warmth I had once known. “Then you laughed.”

He swallowed. “It was such a small thing. A dumb joke I made. You probably don't even remember it.” His thumb traced absent circles across his palm. “But that sound made my heart flicker to life, and I knew I would do anything to hear it again.”

My stupid, traitorous heart swelled in my chest.

“Stop—”

“Every plan I’d made fractured under the weight of a heart that suddenly only beat for you, even after everything Maraveth did,” he said, cutting off my protest.

“I kept telling myself I could still do what I'd come to do. That I'd take you when the time came. But every day I spent beside you, Riven stopped feeling like the lie.” His eyes finally met mine, and something inside me fluttered, as if my heart was breaking with his. “He became the only part of me that was real.”

“I have no memories of my past lives,” I snapped, fighting the anger rising like a tide inside my chest. How could my heart ache for someone so evil? “Maraveth hurt you. Not me.”

His jaw tightened and he dragged one hand over his face in a frustrated movement. “You keep speaking like you are two separate people,” he said patiently, a gentleness threading through his voice that twisted something in my chest. My breathing grew laboured, water trembling around me as if it were readying to protect me.