Page 82

My knees weakened beneath me, and for one terrifying heartbeat it felt as though the marble floor had shifted beneath my feet, the entire world tilting ever so slightly until nothing sat where it should.

Every memory, every whispered prophecy, every impossible fragment I had dismissed as someone else's burden suddenly surged together, colliding with such violent force that my thoughts became indistinguishable from panic.

No.

That wasn't possible.

It couldn't be.

I hadn't shattered kingdoms.

I hadn't condemned the world.

I hadn't...

My breath faltered as something ancient stirred deep inside my chest, so quiet I almost mistook it for my heartbeat. It wasn't a memory. It wasn't even a thought. It was a feeling, old enough to have forgotten its own name, yet heavy enough to make denial feel like trying to hold back the tide with my bare hands.

“You're lying,” I whispered, though the conviction had already begun to drain from my voice.

“I am incapable of such things.” He laughed softly, the sound like a knife scraping against bone. “It is my divine purpose to enact justice on the wicked, and your soul is as potent as they come.”

Somewhere beneath the fear, beneath the grief, beneath the desperate need for him to be wrong...

A part of me knew he spoke the truth. It knew what I had done.

His gaze flicked towards the window, watching the ash drift and cling to the pane. “You disappointed me back then. One moment you brought promises of peace amongst kingdoms. Then the next, you damned the entire world over something that was not yours to keep.”

Air refused to fill my lungs. My vision narrowed until all I could see was him, every frantic thought crashing into the next.

“Helion does not think you are strong enough to handle the truth. That it will break you. I, however, am interested to see what you do with it. I gave my word not to gift your memories back to you. My vow can never be broken,” he almost purred with fresh amusement at the desperation that must have been painted on my face. “But I could be persuaded to find a loophole if it meant you might fix what has been broken before we are all killed.”

A bitter taste spread over my tongue.

I knew this game.

I had learned it behind locked doors and under watchful eyes. I’d bartered my flesh for less in the past.

A door left unlocked. A candle left burning. A guard looking the other way.

Astaroth looked down at me with those pale, corpse-lit eyes, waiting to see what I would become for him.

My stomach turned, but my face softened into something pliable and soft as I gathered my silver hair in one hand and twisted it into a fist at the base of my neck.

I lowered myself to the marble, the coolness of it biting into my knees at his feet.

Astaroth watched me curiously, tracking every single movement with a coiled tension.

I reached for him slowly, every movement a careful, deliberate performance despite the tremble in my hand.

“What are you doing?” he asked, eyes widening as my fingers skimmed the fastening to his trousers.

Agony tore through my body, sharp and electric, ripping a cry from my throat as every nerve lit beneath my skin. His hand closed around my wrists with crushing force, and he hauled me to my feet like I weighed nothing.

“No one touches me,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

I recognised the manic edge carved into his face. The wildness in his milky eyes. Whatever had made him this way, had gouged out a part of his soul. It was a wound I understood.

I managed a small nod through the feeling of my nerves being set alight, and only then did he release me.