Page 591

Maybe some ugly little piece of me still did.

But loving somebody didn’t mean you had to let them destroy the rest of your life.

My mind went back to his funeral.

Everybody had worn black.

Except me.

I wore white.

A simple white dress.

White heels.

No veil.

No dramatic hat.

Just white.

People stared.

I knew they did.

Let them.

I walked down that aisle toward my husband while everybody watched.

The man I’d once thought I’d grow old beside.

The man who had cheated on me with my sister.

My cousin.

God knew who else.

The man who’d made babies outside our marriage while I was home raising his.

The man who thought being my husband meant I belonged to him even after I told him I was done.

I stood over his casket.

And for a second, all I could see was the younger Xay.

Before the lies.

Before the women.

Before resentment lived in our bedroom.

Before we became two people trying to remember why we’d chosen each other.

My eyes filled.

Because that version of him had been real too.

I leaned down.