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Aurora and his daughter headed for the cave exit, leaving Barclay to stand awkwardly in the subdued lighting. Staring at his boots, he rubbed the toe of one boot against the moss on the lit floor while he thought about what to say now that he had his chance. “I think I may owe you an apology.”

He heard Jane exhale deeply. “Yes, I believe you do.”

Drawing a deep breath, he walked forward to drop to one knee next to her. He was alone with Jane, and he could only pray she was not yet betrothed to that audacious little worm, Dunsford.

Chapter Eighteen

"You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Jane Austen

* * *

Jane looked at him in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“I thought I might declare myself,” Barclay answered, fascinated by her irises, which were particularly vivid in the light playing in the cave. “I might be too late, but⁠—”

“Too late?”

“I know Dunsford intended to propose.”

“Oh… I confess I did not heed your advice to wait when he spoke to me earlier in the library.”

Barclay’s heart fell. He had missed his chance, and Jane had accepted a proposal from another man. Feeling foolish, bent on one knee as he was so he could be at eye level with her. Now he was stuck here with nowhere to hide as she pondered him from inches away. “I… see.”

He made to rise, but Jane shot out a hand to stay him. “I gave Mr. Dunsford my answer because I saw no reason to delay. I informed him that I was honored by his offer, but unfortunately, my affections were otherwise engaged, and I would not be doing him a justice if I were to agree to be his wife.”

Barclay closed his eyes, his fears spent. This day had been exhausting in every way, but when he opened his eyes once more, he was invigorated with renewed energy. Jane gazed at him with curiosity as he attempted to gather his frayed wits and press forward. “I am so relieved to hear that. I would have been sorely disappointed.”

She smiled tentatively. “What of you? Are there nuptials to be announced? Between you and Mrs. Gordon?”

“Lud, no!” He bit his lip. “I apologize. I just learned of the widow’s philosophy on children, and I am not yet recovered.”

Jane’s brow furrowed in question.

“She advised me to send Tatiana away to a ladies’ seminary in Surrey,” he offered in explanation.

She blinked in surprise. “Why would you do that?”

“That was my question. It was in that moment that I confronted what a fool I had been. Tatiana had warned me, but I did not listen.”

Jane’s gaze dropped to her hands in her lap. “What happened, Barclay? One moment, we seemed to be on the road to… something special. The next, you had disappeared.”

Barclay sighed before standing up to take a seat next to her on the bench. “The morning after we spoke, my mother suffered a great disappointment because of me … Because she is …”

“Unwed?”

“Precisely. It was harrowing to see her so upset … The thought of something similar happening to you was too much to bear. Tatiana says I gave in to fear.”

“Ah … That explains her earlier protest about adults being fearful.”

Barclay glanced up at Hades before eventually replying, “She was right. With Natalya, I loved deeply, and when she… left us … it was devastating. I had no expectations of feeling that depth of emotion for another woman, but then I met you, and the possibility of love became a reality. Which forced me to think of all the many ways it would go wrong. The ways I could lose you. Or hurt you.”

He noticed she was blushing, her hands having stilled while she gazed at them without blinking. “Love?”

Barclay swallowed hard before reaching out to clasp one of her hands in his. “Jane, I thought my heart was dead. That I would never feel anything again. And then I met you, and life came rushing back. You have captured Tatiana’s heart and the approval of my mother, but more than that, you have captured … me … my heart.”

She still stared at her hands, but a wide smile spread across her face. “I … am … very pleased to hear that because I must confess you have had my heart since your first night here. I … I …” She hesitated, but when she spoke again, it was in a rush, as if she wanted to get the words out as quickly as possible. “I confess I heard you and Aurora discussing your situation in the library, and I was utterly ensnared. I never considered what—who—my future husband would be until that moment, but when I heard you talk of your love for Natalya, I could not help falling for a man who held his loved ones in such high esteem. It was inexorable. Fated. I could not imagine anyone by my side but you.”