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That was remarkably generous. Perhaps Caroline had not overstated their bond.

“And did she marry the Earl of Saunton?”

Caroline sniffled. “Nay. She married the Duke of Halmesbury.”

William blinked. “The duke? From Wiltshire?”

“Yes. You know him?”

“Of course. His estate is not two hours from here. But Caroline—did Miss Annab—Her Grace—refuse your apology?”

Caroline pressed her face harder against him. “I never apologized.”

“Why not?”

“She sent me away. There was no chance to say anything.”

“Have you tried since?”

“No … but she would not want to see me.”

He saw it then—how grief and shame had closed her world. Just as he had locked himself away from life after Charles’s death.

“Why does this prevent you from accepting my courtship?”

“I vowed not to form any close connections. I cannot be trusted. Not with friendship. Not with affection. Certainly not as a wife.”

William frowned. “When did this happen?”

“Two years ago.”

“And have you done anything similar since?”

“No.”

“Then I stand by what I said. You made a single mistake. One you clearly regret. You have not repeated it. That speaks of strength, Caroline, not weakness.” He looked at her squarely. “I remain committed to my desire to court you.”

She stared up at him. “My character does not repulse you?”

“I am not repulsed. We all err. What matters is what we do after.”

How could she not see the truth? She had helped Annie Greer. She had tended William without question. And with her words, she had dragged him out of the shadows. If she would let him, he could do the same for her.

“I wish to court you, sunshine.”

He could see she was thinking about it, his mouth growing dry with nervous anticipation. Now that she had confessed the truth and received his heartfelt reassurance, would she relent on her vow? Seconds stretched into minutes as her feelings flittered across her features, and William bit his lip to remain silent and not interrupt as she tried to reach a decision.

“I cannot.” Her words cracked the silence, a deafening blow. William’s free hand came up to his chest, certain he would find it cracked open and bleeding his life essence. He had awoken from years of being half dead, to fall violently in love over the span of a few hours, only to have his esteem rejected.

Surely his heart had physically snapped in two?

He tried to think what to say next. Lifting a hand, he rubbed it over his beard, quelling the urge to tear at his hair in his desolation.

To make matters worse, he suspected he was being selfish.

He had found a lifeline to happiness and grabbed it with both hands, hauling himself to shore with all his strength. But what of Caroline? What of her needs? She was in agony over what she had done to her mistress, and he could only commiserate, being well aware of how guilt could cut through one’s soul to leave one broken and bleeding. To be certain that there was nothing left to live for, not a solitary blessing to cling to.

With great reluctance, William admitted what she needed. And currently it was not him. The only possible step to take was to release her.