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It’s been a day full of shock and exhaustion—for both of us. A few earlier searches on my phone informed me that her hormones are probably raging, and it’s not uncommon for her to feel exhausted. But knowing that doesn’t help. We’re planning to spend our lives together, yet I’ve never felt further apart from her.

When she makes her way down the hall, I follow, gripping her arm to stop her when we reach the bedroom. “You’re unhappy, and it’s…hurting me.”

She turns with a little furrow between her brows. “I didn’t plan this. You didn’t, either. I thought I knew where my life was going. But…” She pauses. “I’m happy about the baby. I’ve always wanted kids. I’m just sad because I wanted them with someone who would love me for the rest of my life.”

Her words stab me in the chest.

“Please understand. I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty,” she carries on. “You can’t help how you feel any more than I can. I know you’re not ready to fall in love again and⁠—”

“I never loved Becca. I realized that today.”

Nia rears back, searches my face, then cups my cheek. “And you’re confused?”

“Incredibly. But I know that for sure.”

She looks stunned. “What are you saying?”

I’m not sure she believes me. Why should she when it took me years to realize something that’s been staring me in the face? “You’ve changed me somehow. Made me look at everything differently.”

“Or you’ve just gotten used to something new.” She shrugs. “I’m not even sure it matters.”

Then she eases free from my grip and heads for the shower, peeling her clothes off along the way. It’s not seductive. It’s automatic, as if I’m not even here. As if I’m not important at all.

That fucking hurts. Nia never doesn’t want to talk. She’s never not wanted to be with me.

Tonight, I might as well be invisible.

I sit back on the bed and watch her close the door between us. Everything inside me tells me to storm in there, strip down and climb in the shower with her, then grab her tight and kiss her until she melts against me. Until she curls herself around me.

I don’t. It goes against everything inside me to sit idle, but I do.

When she emerges ten minutes later, she’s wearing a cotton nightgown in a soft pink shade, trimmed in lace. Her face is clean, but her eyes are swollen. She’s been crying again. Her ring finger is bare.

Fury swells. Not at her. At myself. She’s bitterly disappointed, and I don’t know to ease her. I fucking hate how impotent that makes me feel. If I could to go back in time and undo that night— No. I still wouldn’t. I didn’t expect any of this. Sure, I’d hoped I would be getting married, but to someone who roused only easy companionship, not a woman who makes me want her until I can’t breathe. I certainly never imagined I’d be expecting a child again.

But I wouldn’t change anything. I only want to move forward.

Nia climbs into bed and turns off the light, then rolls away from me. I ease down beside her. I may not know exactly what to do, but I know she needs my comfort.

When I wrap an arm around her, she stiffens. I don’t relent, just press a kiss to her shoulder and wait. Slowly, she relaxes, her breathing evening out as she falls asleep in my arms.

I lie awake for hours, feeling her warmth against me, wondering how and when I’ll figure out a way to make her happy for the rest of our lives.

Maui, Hawaii

Saturday, December 9

Eleven days later, the day of our wedding dawns. It should be one of the happiest days of our lives. Instead, I’ve never seen Nia more withdrawn, as if she’s preparing to walk to the hangman’s noose, not the altar. Every time I look at her face, I see second thoughts and regrets. I can’t stand it. And I can’t marry her like this. She might have said yes, but I know damn well she answered me under duress.

It’s stupid-early when I knock on Maxon and Keeley’s door. It takes a good two minutes before my oldest brother opens with a yawn. “What’s up? You’re about eight hours early for the wedding, bro.”

“I need to see Nia.”

The gravity in my voice halts his stretch. “You okay? I didn’t want to say anything, but you guys haven’t seemed the same since you arrived.”

How do I answer that? “I don’t know what to think.”

“Want to talk?”