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“I don’t.”
“You have no guess?”
She looks away, biting her lip. “I don’t want to be wrong.”
There’s no way she is.
“Do you still love me?”
Her eyes close. “I don’t see how I’ll ever stop.”
Her admission makes something in my chest flip over. My heart. That crazy, cursed, uncontrollable organ slowly rousing like a sleeping giant. It’s frantically thundering between my ears, far louder than my common sense. It’s taking over my brain.
“I’m slow to understand how something non-logical works. You know that. I never meant to hurt you or ruin your life or—”
“You didn’t.” Nia looks almost confused by my statement. “I’ve been worried I ruined yours.”
I cup her face. “Honey, no. You’ve made my life. Nothing would be right without you. Know why?” I shake my head because I can’t wait for her to either guess or demur. “Because I think—no, I know—I love you, too.”
Her breathing stops. Tears fill her eyes. Her fingers try in vain to grip the wall behind her. “You don’t have to tell me what you think I want to hear. I’m going to marry you regardless.”
“No.” I grab her shoulders. “I’m telling you what I’m finally comprehending. What I probably should have figured out a long time ago but was too emotionally numb and disconnected to understand. I. Love. You. If you need me to say it again—”
Tears spill down her cheeks. A sob hitches her chest. “Don’t.”
I’m so confused. “Don’t tell you how I feel?”
“D-don’t lie.”
Her voice sounds small and broken. My heart contracts and thuds again. I actually feel her pain as if it was my own. It’s disconcerting and awful and amazing all at once.
“Never,” I vow. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize what I should have known weeks ago. I think I fell for you the first time I touched you. I just didn’t know.”
She sniffles and finally opens her eyes. Hope, sharp and bright, illuminates her dark eyes. “You’re not just saying that?”
Before she’s even finished, I’m shaking my head. “You know I’m not a liar, just like you know I’m not good at sparing anyone’s feelings. I finally understand what’s in my heart. But if you still don’t believe me, I’ll be happy to repeat it until you do. Preferably while I’m inside you.”
Finally, she laughs through her tears. “I love you so much.”
Gently, I swipe my thumbs across her cheeks to dry them. “I know. And I feel like the worst ass imaginable for putting you through weeks of worrying and wondering and uncertainty.”
“It’s okay. I know you’ve been struggling. I just thought… When I opened the door, I was worried you were coming to tell me you weren’t ready for a baby, so you couldn’t marry me.”
I’m still not entirely sure I’m ready for the fatherhood thing. But Nia and our child are a package deal, and I have months to figure it out.
I lean in, kiss her forehead and the tip of her nose before sliding down to brush the softest buss over her lips. “What do you say we start over? Today marks the beginning of our lives together, and I can’t think of a better way to celebrate than by getting married to the woman who’s changed my life, my heart, and my future.”
“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Softly, she nods. “Yes. A thousand times yes. See you at the altar at two.”
“Are you kicking me out?” I frown.
“I am. I have a wedding to get ready for.”
“Damn, I thought I was taking you to bed so I could show you how much I love you.”
Now Nia is downright giggling, and it makes my heart feel so light. “Save it for our wedding night, mister.”
A big smile breaks across my face. I feel triumphant, like the time I built a life-size Mars Exploration Rover for the hell of it and made it roam the nearby park. The project was frustrating and took a shitload of time and brainpower. But once I managed, success felt really damn rewarding.
