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“Fine,” I said absently. If this was how Elain chose to cope with whatever she’d seen under Bryaxis’s influence, I wouldn’t get in her way. Even if I suspected that she’d place the roses right between her and Lucien at the dinner table, blocking her view of him.

Elain said softly, “Did you check on Nesta?”

“No.” My mouth still somehow felt far away. “Madja’s tending to her shattered arm.” And her broken nose, but no need to lay out every gruesome injury our sister had sustained in saving us. “And besides, I didn’t see a need.” Of all of us, Nesta had withstood Bryaxis’s darkness.

Elain said without looking back, “But you did see one for me?”

“You were screaming.” Was Elain mad I was checking in on her? “I didn’t want you out here, suffering with the aftermath all alone.”

Another rose tumbled into her basket. “You think I’m pathetic.”

“No. We were all shaken today.”

Elain didn’t answer, and I took this as acceptance enough.

“It’s freezing out here,” I said, some of that bitter chill sinking into my skin at last. “You should come inside.”

“I’m perfectly all right. It’s work that needs to be done anyway.”

I frowned at the garden. “It’s not so important that you have to be out here freezing.”

Elain said, softly but not weakly, “It is important. I’m clearing away the old to make room for the new.” She snipped a dried-out tangle of thorns for emphasis. “Death can bring about life. Without it, too many resources would be diverted to unnecessary parts of the plant. With winter coming, they need everything they can get.”

She was definitely reeling. But I didn’t have the energy to debate whether she should be out here, or worry that I’d offended her by caring.

So I suppressed a sigh before I said, “I just wanted you to know that I’d rather have my sister warm and comfortable than pruning plants in the cold.”

Elain didn’t say anything else, merely continued snipping and clearing and gathering.

I walked away with a subdued, “I’ll see you at dinner. Don’t make the arrangement too big.”

I’d taken only ten steps into the delicious warmth of the river house when I found the next person on my list of people to check in with coming down the grand staircase. Amren’s eyes were downcast, her sleek black bob limper than usual. Even the rubies at her throat seemed dull, like their innate fire had gone out.

“You look how I feel,” I said by way of greeting, unable to hide my wince.

Amren’s head snapped up, her silvery eyes gleaming. “I was just checking on Nyx,” she said with unusual quiet.

“He’s still asleep?”

Amren glanced at her hand, gripping the polished railing. “Yes. Rhys is watching over him now.”

She reached the bottom of the stairs, and though I’d known her for years, it still surprised me sometimes how short she was, how her head barely cleared my shoulders. I had the strangest feeling of gazing down at her from above as I said, “Are you all right?” I couldn’t begin to imagine the horrors Bryaxis had shown my friend. She’d had more than fifteen thousand years to draw upon. Prey upon.

“Yes,” Amren said, the word carried on a sigh.

We hadn’t spoken since that ugly argument, which was why Amren had been near the top of my list of people to seek out. So I lifted my chin. Let some of the numbness I’d wrapped around myself fall away as I said plainly, “I’m sorry for how we argued after Storr. I’m sorry for what I said. It came from a place of fear. You deserve better than to be treated like that.”

Sorrow glimmered in Amren’s eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for, girl.”

“No. I do. Everything you said that day was right. Today’s events confirmed that.” I shook my head. “The Summer Court visit was fruitless—Tarquin won’t join us. And maybe I don’t believe that Fomoria is our best route for an alliance, but I understand now what you meant about time. About needing to think and act on a bigger scale.” I swallowed hard. “Today I felt exactly what you warned me of.” I blocked out the images Bryaxis had shown me of my son. “I saw what you were trying to explain to me. I should have listened.”

Amren held up a hand, her face genuinely pained. “There is only moving forward now. But for my part . . .” Her throat worked, her eyes like quicksilver. “I am sorry, too, Feyre. So very sorry.”

Her apology—so rare from this fierce female—soothed something, steadied and settled me even after all we’d been through earlier. I knew what I had to do now, and could count myself lucky to have Amren there to help me.

I said thickly, “Will you come to dinner tonight? I want you to sit beside me and—”

“I’m going to see Varian.” Amren looked anywhere but at me. “I . . . I need to see him.”