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On the eleventh day of the crisis, Lady Catherine de Bourgh burst into the parsonage like a hurricane in silk.

"Miss Bennet! I have endured this ridiculous speaking strike for nearly two weeks and I can no longer remain silent!"

Elizabeth and Charlotte looked up from their card game.

"Your ladyship," Elizabeth said. "I thought you were committed to being dramatically silent?"

"I was! But do you have any idea how boring it is to just sit there while everyone talks around you?!" Lady Catherine threw herself into a chair. "And the narrative has been pushing at me! Trying to force me to come here and forbid your marriage to Fitzwilliam!"

Elizabeth put her cards face down. "And have you come to forbid it?"

"No! Though the narrative even prepared dialogue! 'Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?!' Polluted! As if you were a disease!" Lady Catherine's face was red. "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds when you're aware you're saying it?!"

"I can imagine," Elizabeth said sympathetically.

"So I came here to have a different conversation! One of my choosing!" Lady Catherine crossed her arms. "I'm going to support your marriage!"

Silence.

"I'm sorry, what?" Elizabeth said.

"You heard me. Fitzwilliam shall have my encouragement. The narrative may recover from the disappointment at its leisure."

"Mr. Collins will be relieved," Charlotte said. "As soon as someone explains which opinion he is to hold now."

"He may consult me after luncheon." Lady Catherine leaned forward. "Miss Bennet, my nephew is happy in your company. I am not so unobservant as everyone appears to suppose. Why should I object merely because it is expected of me?"

"Because it's your narrative function?" Elizabeth suggested.

"Then it must find someone else." Lady Catherine stood and started pacing. "Anne wants spaniels. Fitzwilliam wants you. Neither has shown the least inclination to exchange, and I am tired of conducting the negotiation."

"I am glad you have chosen to tell us."

"You need not sound so astonished. I have been reasonable before." Lady Catherine sat down again. "I cannot recall the occasion at present, but I am certain it occurred."

Elizabeth looked at Charlotte, who had become very attentive to her cards.

"Now, when are you getting married?" Lady Catherine clapped her hands together. "If I am to encourage the match, there must be no possibility of anyone overlooking my encouragement."

"We haven't set a date yet. Darcy's still in London dealing with the Wickham situation."

"Oh, that." Lady Catherine waved dismissively. "I have heard the settlement is agreed. If there is any practical assistance still required, you will tell me. I can be very troublesome to people who delay business."

"You have been keeping yourself informed?"

"I spent nearly two weeks silent with nothing to do but observe! I could hardly fail to hear what was happening." Lady Catherine pulled out a notebook. "Look—I made charts."

She had indeed made charts. They were remarkably similar to Darcy's, but with more underlining and exclamation points.

"You've been tracking rainstorms too?" Elizabeth peered at the data.

"The circumstances required examination." Lady Catherine pointed to the broad margin. "I have left room for objections."

"Did you coordinate with Darcy and Jane on this?"

"My nephew sent me copies when I demanded an explanation. I have improved their presentation." Lady Catherine flipped to another page. "Also, I've been tracking Mr. Collins's mentions of my name. Sixty-seven times in the past week alone! It's excessive!"

"It really is," Charlotte agreed.