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“For fuck’s sake, son!” Vinny’s dad barked. “Didn’t you put any thought into shit before you went to war with three different clubs?”

“Four,” Aaron corrected calmly. “Most of those bitches from the store grew up in Rawlins. Their daddies are members of the Heretics.”

Thinking about Blackjack, I doubted my family would have heard about what happened yet. If my phone was on me, the Crimson Guard could track my location. If not, I might end up in a shallow grave with no answers for my family and friends.

As Vinny and Aaron bickered, they called the latter’s parents, only to hear the same advice—dump my body, ditch Greg at a hospital, and disappear to Florida.

Fully awake now, I slowly searched my body for my phone. A growing despair burned in my chest as I found nothing.

My body hurt so much, and I was scared for the Tooker sisters. Though panicking felt like the correct response in this situation, I instead imagined my mom in my position. Somehow, I could see more clearly when I viewed the world through her eyes.

Moving as carefully as possible, I wiggled my self-defense rings until the blades faced my palms. My dad had bought them for me back when I was a bitchy teenager. Whenever I changed my style over the years, he would buy new rings to work with my outfits.

These days, I wore sterling silver rings on my pointer fingers. After tugging out the small blades, I began working on the zip ties holding my wrists. I was careful not to move too much or make noises. As far as the assholes were concerned, I remained unconscious. The more time they spent focused on each other, the longer I had to come up with a plan.

The zip ties came off without much effort, leaving me more mobile. However, reaching my Ruger LCP Max strapped to my ankle would likely make noise. I had no idea how large or crowded the cargo space was. Unwilling to give up my element of surprise, I decided to use my rings rather than risk reaching for the gun.

Sometime after hanging up on their parents, Aaron announced, “Greg’s dead. Do we leave him where his parents can find him for a funeral? Or ditch him in the same hole as the bitch?”

“I don’t know,” Vinny said, and I sensed he wanted his parents to answer that question. “Where do we put the bitch?”

“I don’t know this fucking area. It’s mostly farmland.”

“Look on the map for an area with woods or something. We need a location without people around.”

“No one’s going to be up at this time of night.”

“Fuck that. I don’t need a trigger-happy farmer taking a shot at us.”

The men fell silent for a while, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I needed to stay sharp. My head felt strange, signaling a possible concussion. I had no idea about the status of the rest of my body.

Maybe I was about to die because my life started flashing before my eyes. I saw myself as a kid adoring my parents and babying my little brother. I remembered following around Duffy despite the autistic girl being quite a bit older and nonverbal. Even if she never spoke to me, I knew she enjoyed my presence.

My mind flashed with memories of my time with the Crimson Guard. I recalled when Boone first admitted his feelings for Nova. I smiled at the memory of her daughters calling me their “favorite aunt.”

Finally, I thought of York during our last hookup at The Oregon Inn. He had talked about his dog, Junior. I mentioned my Chihuahua, Mochi. He had joked about setting up a playdate.

An awkward moment passed as we struggled to keep our relationship uncomplicated. I nearly asked if he wanted me to visit his house. We could fuck at his place while the dogs played. We’d become friends with benefits rather than simply fuck buddies.

But I’d chickened out. My feelings for York burned too hot, and I wouldn’t be able to sell my indifference if he rejected my idea.

I couldn’t deny I’d fallen in love with York Lacroix. He was the first person I thought of when I woke each morning and the last person on my mind when I fell asleep. I wanted to visit his home and meet his dog. I wished I could talk to him every day rather than making myself wait. Most of all, I wanted him to love me, too.

I had been so afraid to give up my independence that I never considered how good sharing a life with York might feel.

Now, I wasn’t sure I would ever see him again. If I disappeared, my friends and family would mourn together, sharing their memories of me and soothing each other’s pain. Yet, York would suffer alone because no one knew he was important to me. Our secret would die with me.

By the time the SUV pulled off the highway and toward my potential shallow grave, I felt heavy with regret and defeat. My body ached more, and I had to fight the shakes.

I couldn’t picture fighting the assholes. Instead, I saw myself dying in the middle of Bumfuck, Arkansas and left to rot.

I suddenly felt Yarrow’s presence as if she were under the blanket with me. I could hear my mom’s voice and saw the world through her eyes. I imagined her childhood spent locked in a dark room where she was used for vile acts. She hadn’t grown up with a family or friends. She didn’t know how to be human until the Everything Nice Crew found her.

If those women had left her care to the government and charities, I wouldn’t exist now. The ENC more than saved her. They raised her from a feral child to a semi-functioning woman capable of trusting my dad.

Occasionally, Yarrow seemed so fragile. Other times, she was the scariest person I’d ever seen. Something inside her remained savage and indifferent to the world’s rules.

As the SUV jerked to a stop, I wrapped Yarrow’s old rage and pain around me like a suit of armor. These men were no longer the fuckers who attacked my friends and planned to kill me. They were the same men who repeatedly hurt my mom. They carried the sins of every evil thing ever done by monstrous people.