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Saxu was on deck, and turned to look at me, his gaze hard to read in the dim light after the sun had set. Finally, he took a few steps closer to me where I leaned on the railing.

“We will send some scouts onto land in the morning. Dragon Chosen Emperor Tallu has already considered what to do if Kacha does burn the fresh growth.” His words were doubtless meant to be reassuring, but they accomplished precisely the opposite; I could feel myself being cut out of the decision-making, being turned into a pawn again.

“I will go,” I said. “I’ll take one of the dragons.”

Saxu was watching me again, and I tried not to tense at his attention. “This magic you use. This magic all the elves use is in service of the Imperium. I believe I am an honorable man. I believe in the war we have fought since the first emperor took the throne. But I am not a foolish man. You do not need to worry that I will harm you when your actions are so clearly in service of His Imperial Majesty.”

“We were taught that even using animal speak in the south could result in us losing our heads,” I said.

“Perhaps. Perhaps if we were still at the Mountainside Palace and these powers were not being used to end an insurrection. But I have only ever killed when the emperor of the Southern Imperium required it. Emperor Tallu does not require your death.” Saxu raised his hand, clasping my shoulder and squeezing once. “I ask that you have the same faith in me as I do in you.”

I inhaled to answer, but couldn’t find the words. Saxu squeezed my shoulder again and went back into the captain’s quarters, closing the door behind him.

Fifteen

The next day, Saxu and Namati sent men acting as scouts to shore. Iradîo and I stood near the stern of the ship as her birds circled above.

“We could tell you what’s going on,” Terror commented. The three birds were perched on the railing next to me. “For a cost. There are plenty of fish here, so many fish that they would not miss a few.”

I froze, thinking about Kacha and Terror; the last time the general had had Terror within his grip, he had killed him. His lifeless body had been so light in my hands; his wings had splayed to the sides, falling open.

“No!” I said, too quickly. “Stay here with me.”

Iradîo’s brow twitched and she turned to me, speaking in Northern quietly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“Something is wrong,” she said. “Tell me now.”

Her voice was a command, and the familiar language and her piercing eyes allowed me nowhere to move, nowhere to hide. She looked so much like my mother, I felt pinned to the spot by it.

“The last time I faced Kacha, he took away my ability to animal speak. He had someone tear it from my head, using some monstrous technique that General Maki developed. And when it was gone, I felt empty.” I left it there, unsure how to describe the feeling I had had in my chest, how the first time I had tried to talk to Terror, and not been able to, it had felt like heartbreak.

“But that is how you gained your ability to practice other forms of magic, isn’t it?” Iradîo asked.

“Yes, but when he did it, it took me to—” I froze, unsure what I’d been trying to say, unsure where it had taken me. It had taken me somewhere: I remembered the room and it had been familiar. I had felt something similar when the children and I had regrown the elder tree.

But now that I tried to tell Iradîo about it, the words slipped through my fingers, and I fell silent.

She was still frowning when she looked at me, her eyes skimming over my face. “So now you are scared to face him?”

I wanted to deny it, my mouth falling open, but I could only nod, thinking about everything that could go wrong. What if he got hold of me again? What could he do to me a second time? I clenched my fingers on the railing, trying to make the pain sharp enough that I would be forced to move, that I would be forced to do something more than worry and feel the pit of anxiety grow in my stomach.

“You cannot fear the hawk that steals an egg from your nest,” Dawn said. She pushed aside Ratcatcher and Terror, picking lightly at the back of my hand until I released my fingers one by one. “If you are so scared of it, then you cannot defend your nest when it comes back.”

I laughed, gasping in air as I did so, tasting the salt on it. The breeze cooled my flushed skin.

“Airón.” Naî was the one who finally broke the stalemate. Looking over my shoulder, I saw her standing there, wearing one of the sailors’ oversized shirts, tied at the waist.

Frowning, I turned. “What is it?”

Orange dragons swirled around behind her, then a few perched in her hair. She batted them away, pulling her lips back from her teeth.

“We traveled to the new growth. It worked. There is a forest growing, quickly. It grows across the spread of Tavornai. Soon, there is not a single place that will not be covered in the dark forest.” She stared at me.

“But?” I asked, because she had the tone that indicated she had more to say.

“But it is empty of animals.” She raised her hand, swatting at the small dragonets again. “This one tried to call them but said that you need to do it.”