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I scrub my hand down my face and do my best to shove those dark thoughts into the deepest, darkest pit I can find. I spent the entirety of this kid’s life hating my brother. Now that he’s gone, and he’s left Owen and Mabel behind—now that I know them—I can’t make myself regret the union that created them.

Because the reality is that if life had turned out in my favor, and Faye had stayed mine, they wouldn’t exist.

Faye pulls Owen’s sandwich from the bag and hands it to him. She’s stretched out on a patch of grass in the sun, her heels kicked off, moving her toes through the blades of green. She’s always been a nature girl. I don’t know why I thought I could pluck her from the mountains and dump her in a concrete city and she’d be happy. I was a fool.

I lower to the ground closer to Owen than her. It’s not entirely that I don’t want to sit close to her. But if I did, I’m afraid I’d find some reason to touch her.

“So, Uncle Holt, why didn’t you come around when Dad was alive?”

The question steals my air. I choke on my sandwich.

“Owen,” Faye warns.

“It’s cool.” I manage, waving Faye off. I clear my throat and consider bullshitting the kid. But then I meet his eyes. Dark and knowing and demanding the weight of the truth. I study him for a solid beat, taking in the square set of his shoulders.

I decide to let him carry the weight, even as I give it to him gently. “I was pissed off and hurt.” I don’t drop his eyes, even as I can feel Faye’s burning into me. “For a long time, I felt your dad stole the life that was meant to be mine. I let those feelings turn me into a fool.”

“You don’t feel that way anymore?” Owen doesn’t move. Doesn’t break eye contact.

Shit, the kid is steady. He gets that from Tate, too.

I give my head a single shake. “Not entirely.”

“Why not?”

I pull in breath. “Life is funny, Owen. In my thirty-two years, I’ve found it rarely works out to plan.”

“Seems like you got everything you ever wanted. You’re famous. Rich.”

I give him a smile that, I’ll admit, touches on a grimace. “There’s a lot more to life than money.”

“Only rich people say that.”

“Probably because rich people don’t have people who matter.” I take a bite of my sandwich. “We’re so focused on the next goal that the people we love, the families we could have made, they slip through our fingers.”

Owen nods like he gets me. I’m not sure anyone who hasn’t lived my life can.

“So, you don’t hate Dad anymore?”

“I never hated him.” I don’t realize it’s the truth until now. I cock a grin that aches a bit. “It all comes back to that funny life path that never works out the way you suspect. If Tate didn’t steal my girl, you and Mabel never would have existed.” I take another big bite. I don’t even taste it. “You’re a pretty cool kid, so I’m thinking there’s a plan in there somewhere for you. How can I fault that?”

The smile Owen gives me is more than vulnerable. He needed this. Needed my forgiveness for his father. I regret that I didn’t realize it until now.

I clap the kid on the shoulder and find my gaze drifting to Faye for the first time. The tip of her nose is red and her smile wobbles. She’s trying to hold back her tears.

My gaze falls to her uneaten sandwich as she shoves it back into the bag. She stands, grabs her shoes and calls over her shoulder as she walks, barefoot to my truck. “Let’s get a move on boys. I’ve got work to do.”

15

DO YOU FEEL IT’S TIME?

APRIL 2023 – PRESENT DAY

Ican’t stop thinking of the words Holt gave to Owen in the park. The forgiveness Tate finally received. It lightened a weight I hadn’t been aware I’d carried in my own heart. A weight for Tate. A weight I know, even in death, he’s felt the release of.

I know Tate never regretted his life with me. The way we began was unconventional and less than ideal, but it was our story. As much as I loved Holt, even through my love for Tate, I could never and did never regret my life with Tate. My love for Tate was just as intense, even if entirely different, than my love for Holt.

Still, I knew Tate sought Holt’s forgiveness. I also knew Holt denied it. Until now.