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“Andy.”

“It’s cool. I’ll call her.”

“Andy!” I shout. Holt leans into the wall, crossing one booted foot over the other.

“I’ll be there Saturday.”

“For freak sakes, Andy shut up.”

“I’m going to get you so drunk⁠—”

“I have a date Saturday,” I snap. But my eyes are glued to Holt, so I see the dark shadow that passes through his already dark eyes. See the nearly imperceptible twitch to the muscle that clenches in his jaw. Note the way his broad chest expands on a sharp inhale.

My entire body reacts.

“Wait, what?”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“With who?” Andy shouts. I know for a fact, Holt hears.

He pushes off the wall, moving closer. I feel like I’m being stalked. Hunted.

“Tanner,” I whisper his name.

“For fuck sakes. Don’t be a fool, babe.” I know Holt hears that too, because there’s a twitch to the hard set of his lips.

“Bye, Andy.”

She’s muttering something, but I don’t catch it because like I said I would, I hang up.

Holt doesn’t give me a moment to catch my breath before he clips low, “You’re really going out with Tanner?”

Breath shudders where it’s trapped inside my lungs. Somehow, I manage a quiet, “Yes.”

“I didn’t realize you were dating again.”

“I—I haven’t. But—” I look away. I can’t look at him. Into those dark eyes. “Everyone says it’s time.”

“Do you feel it’s time?” I don’t expect the softness in his voice. The gentle, heartbreaking care. I can’t help but look at him now.

“I don’t know,” I admit honestly. “I guess I’ll see.”

His eyes drift over my face. Like I used to feel so long ago, I feel completely seen. Like he can read all the hidden parts that craft the story of me. Every lash of pain and stroke of pleasure. All the wonder I’ve lived, and the dreams yet to come to pass. My shame and hurt…

He sees it all now like he saw it all before.

“Holt…” His name cracks from somewhere deep inside of me. Maybe it’s that first fissure in my heart where he spurred himself deep when he bent low to kiss my skinned knee.

Holt pushes off my desk. “I’m heading out, but I should be back by two.”

I say nothing, too stunned by the shift, as he walks out the front door.

16

AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT

MAY 2023 – PRESENT DAY