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Now I wish he hadn’t responded.

“I know.”

I feel like he’s stripping me bare and raw, peering beneath my flesh to the secrets I keep concealed when he asks, “Do you want him?”

I hold Holt’s eyes. I wonder if he can read those secrets I’m trying to contain. My most inner, forbidden desires. The ones that revolve exclusively around him. The ones I hate myself for.

I pray he can’t.

I shake my head, severing my gaze from his. “No.”

Holt pushes off the desk. My eyes snap up to watch as he stalks closer to me. My heart responds as though he’s a danger—the single most ruthless predator intent on its ultimate destruction. My final ruin.

He stops far closer than is appropriate. My face is in line with the buckle of his belt—and heat swarms every inch of me.

There’s a rough edge to Holt’s voice when he commands, “Look at me, Faye. Look into my eyes and tell me you don’t want him.”

I don’t know what possesses me—what possessed him—but I do as he demands. I look straight into those espresso eyes touched with inky coal and say firmly, “I don’t want Tanner.”

His eyes dive deep into the depths of mine, searching for what?—I’m not sure.

Finally, he rasps a rumbly kind of growl, “Good.”

I don’t move as his hand lifts to my face and his thumb swipes across my lip. I see the glitter of glazed sugar on the pad of his thumb as he pulls it from my mouth and brings it to his.

The throb of sharp pain that pulses between my legs in that moment steals my breath. It’s a stabbing, unexpected arousal and I haven’t felt in—I haven’t felt it since him.

Holt sucks his thumb clean, pivots, and walks away.

I race to the bathroom where I can collect myself in peace—because what the actual heck.?

I look at myself in the mirror, face flushed, eyes bright with arousal.

“I’m going to hell,” I mutter to myself.

20

EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH

MAY 2023 – PRESENT DAY

“Honey, I thought for sure I’d be back from the city in time.” I can hear Mom’s wince through the phone. “The doctor is late. I’m still in the waiting room.” She huffs, clearly trying not to be irritated. “Heaven forbid I’m five minutes late, but it’s all well and dandy to make me sit here for over an hour past my appointment, and I haven’t even seen the man!”

“Mom, it’s fine.”

She heaves a heavy sigh. “I’m just so sorry.”

“I’ll figure it out,” I say breezily, even as I rub my fingers into my brow. I’m going through the names of people I can call, forcing bright into my tone. “Seriously, just do your appointment so you don’t have to make another trip into the city.”

“Sorry again, honey.”

“Mom, stop. I love you.”

“Oh, they’re calling me in.”

“Bye, Mom.”

We disconnect and I finally loose the curse I’ve been holding back. I’m just going to have to ask Colton’s mom to take Owen with them to the game.