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“It feels—wrong.”

“How so?” Again, it’s Shy with the gentle voice. If Andy was here, she’d be sitting on Team Hard Ball across the table.

“It feels—” I shake my head. “I already went from one brother to the other. I’m not sure I can go back now that Tate—” My voice cracks. My nose stings. “I don’t think it’s right to go back to the other now that one is gone.”

“Oh, babe.” Shy shakes her head. “There’s more to it than that.”

“Is there, though?” I don’t wait for them to respond. “He leaves for hockey in September, just like he left all those years ago. I won’t go with him. I won’t uproot my life in Rubble Ridge—everything I’ve built here with Tate for our kids—to chase his dreams.” I shrug again. “We’ll be right back to square one like we were when we were teens.” I thank the waitress when she pours me a coffee. Then say softly, “It’s better this way.”

“So, you’re just not going to date again?” I look to Shy when she speaks. “Elijah told me Tanner said you rejected him.”

“I don’t feel like I should for Tanner.”

“You mean you don’t feel the same way for Tanner that you feel for Holt, and that scares the crap out of you?” Willow, always the blunt one, points out.

I sigh. “Yeah. That’s what I mean.”

She looks surprised I’ve admitted it. They all look surprised.

I add, “But that doesn’t mean Holt is right either. Our lives are different. We’re moving in different directions. There’s no altering that course. I’ve accepted it.”

“Babe,” Quinn starts, but I hold up a hand to stop her.

“Can we not? Please.”

She purses her lips. Willow narrows her eyes.

Shy asks, “Please tell me you’re throwing your spring barbecue at the end of the month?”

I didn’t do it last year. Mom threw it for me instead, but it wasn’t the same.

Owen had asked me just this morning if I was planning on doing it this year. When I said I wasn’t sure, he’d told me he wanted the barbecue. Then he told me Holt would man the barbecue if I just asked him, as I was liable to singe off my eyebrows.

As though he hadn’t just parroted Tate’s words to me, he pressed on to remind me to invite Colt and Addy and their brood.

I hadn’t brought it up to Holt.

I shrug. “I’m thinking about it.”

“Well, you better think faster.” Quinn slides a fry from her tray when the food is delivered. “The end of the month is coming up quickly.”

I swipe a fry through the glob of mayo I’ve ordered on the side and pop it into my mouth. “Thank you captain obvious.”

Quinn smirks. Willow chuckles.

Shy sighs.

I roll my eyes. Then, because I seem to like making my life all kinds of difficult, I mutter, “Plan for the barbecue. I’ll figure it out.”

Shy claps.

Willow grins slow and wickedly triumphant.

Quinn looks like the cat who caught the canary.

I sink in my seat as I shove another mayo-covered fry into my mouth.

I lean into the door at the mouth of Herman’s—Holt’s office. He’s done a remarkable job of organizing the space. It’s surprising. Having seen the chaos of his room as a teenager, I figured he’d work like Herman. Which was in absolute disorder.