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There’s a look on Tate’s face and then Callan’s that I can’t read, but admittedly, I don’t try that hard. I’m spiraling now, calling myself an idiot over and over again in my head for thinking this could ever be anything other than a shit show.

Before either of them can say anything else, I keep walking. I don’t stop or slow down until I hit the parking lot and get in the car.

When I was younger, there was a spot in the park where I could go to be alone when I needed to. I wrote a lot of my first songs there, under the shade of a massive tree that people usually stayed away from because there were rumors that the trunk was rotted through.

Almost a decade later, the tree is still standing, and since it’s cold and wet outside, no one else is in the park. I fold myself down under the tree and put my head in my hands.

Tears prick behind my eyelids, the stress and sadness finally leaking through now that there’s no one to see it.

I was so happy before. I was happy to be exploring a new side of myself and to be enjoying the flirting and sex with the guys. Now all of that has turned on its head, making it all so fucking rotten.

I don’t even know what to do.

I wrap my arms around myself for warmth, taking some bracing breaths of the cold air. Gradually, I calm down enough that I can close my eyes and start humming a new song as the melody comes to me.

At least I can still get lost in my music when everything feels this terrible.

41

CALLAN

Tate and I go back to the cabin, neither of us in the mood to do more festival shit after that.

Ares stayed back this morning, figuring it was better for him to lie low than risk running into anyone and being asked about the rumors. He’s in the kitchen at the table with a cup of coffee when we come in, and he looks up, his eyes concerned.

“Did you see Brynn?” he asks. “How is she doing?”

Tate makes a face. “She seems… stressed.” He glances at me. “I don’t think she’s taking it well, which is fair, considering.”

It is fair. This town is already a heavy thing for her, and now there’s this on top of it. None of us planned for this to happen.

“This was supposed to be easy,” Ares says. “Just a fun thing we were doing. Now it’s complicated as hell.”

Tate scrubs a hand through his hair, looking like he’s going around in circles with something in his head. It’s rare to see him be anything other than put together and confident, so this is probably bothering him.

Something about the way Ares says that makes me go tense. Ares hasn’t really dated since I’ve known him, and Tate has always done flings. He never wanted to date seriously or put commitment labels on anything, but that’s not how I’m built. I get attached and I want to keep people.

Which is why I don’t fucking mess around. It’s why I don’t sleep in the same bed with other people or give parts of myself away only to turn around and make it seem like it doesn’t mean anything. When you get attached, you just end up losing. That’s been my experience. And I’ve lost enough in my life.

The thought of losing Brynn now makes my stomach clench.

Ares and Tate are still talking, about damage control and trying to make sure Brynn is alright, but I just find myself getting more and more frustrated by the second.

Eventually I just push away from the wall and mutter something about needing some air. I leave the two of them to it, putting my boots back on and stomping out the back door of the cabin and into the woods.

It’s beautiful out, even if it is cold as fuck. The trees are still covered in snow, and the ground underneath them is too. I walk carefully, trying not to slip on the places where snow has melted and refrozen, hands shoved into my pockets.

This is so fucked up. It’s fucked up that Brynn can’t do anything in this town without being scrutinized and fucked up that we didn’t get to handle any of this on our own terms.

But more than that, it’s really highlighting the fact that this shit was probably doomed from the beginning.

Brynn is a star. She has a real career and fans and an image to uphold. She has a future ahead of her, where she can just get bigger and brighter if she wants to. And I’m just a tattoo artist from a rough background.

I don’t have a family, I don’t have fans. I don’t have anything ahead of me other than the path I make for myself, and I’m never going to want to be famous or rich or anything like that.

Despite what I told Brynn this morning, I know that gossip like this isn’t going to just stay in the town. Not with Brynn’s level of fame. People are going to talk about it online on social media, and it’s going to spread. Now that it’s all public, will Brynn really want to be tied to me?

To any of us?