Page 86

ARES: There are plenty of trees on this property. You can help me pick the best one.

I debate it in my head for all of thirty seconds.

ME: Okay, you’re on.

ARES: Fuck yeah. I’ll pick you up.

I throw a coat on over my night clothes and climb out the window. It’s crazy how I’ve only been back here for a few hours, and I’m already back in such familiar territory. I used to do this all the time when Ares and I were sneaking around. The muscle memory comes back to me easily, and I’m grateful all over again that my bedroom is on the first floor and that my parents’ bedroom faces away from the street.

It’s freezing out, so I wrap my coat around me, getting a bit away from the house to wait.

I don’t have to wait long before Ares is pulling up, grinning at me from the driver’s seat.

I smile back at him, getting into the car, grateful for the warmth. He even turned on the heated seat for me.

“You know, this feels very familiar,” I tell him, giving him a sidelong glance.

He snorts, driving away. “Yeah, I was getting déjà vu all the way here. It’s wild that we never got caught.”

That makes me laugh. “Honestly. I can’t imagine I was subtle, climbing out the window and having to explain why I was always so tired. There was one time I managed to make it back into my room literally one minute before my mom knocked on my door to ask me something. I know I was flustered when she came in, and I wonder what she thought I was doing in there.”

“I mean, you were a teenager. She probably thought you were in there touching yourself or something.”

I groan, smacking his arm. “Don’t be gross, oh my god.”

“I’m just saying. We did take a lot of risks back then. Remember when we both told our parents we were going to the library at like seven in the morning to study for that one exam, but really we met up to mess around?”

“And then we were both almost late.” I shake my head. “It’s crazy that they believed that we fell asleep at the library.”

“I remember making up this whole thing about how I was feeling the stress of being so close to graduating, and my mom ended up letting me take a day off from school to ‘recover’.” He takes one hand off the wheel to make air quotes. “I felt a little bad.”

“Did you?”

He grins at me. “Not really.”

We both laugh and then fall silent. I never thought we’d be able to talk about those days like this. Not after everything that happened. I’d been doing my best to avoid thinking about it altogether, but it’s nice to have it be nostalgic in a good way again.

When Ares looks at me next, his face is serious. “You know, being back here… I kind of can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t fucked everything up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like if we’d never broken up that way. Would it have happened naturally the way it does sometimes? We grew up, drifted apart, became different people or whatever? Or… would we still be together?”

I look at him, my heart pounding at the sudden shift in tone. “I don’t know. I mean…” I take a breath. “I always thought you were my future back then. I couldn’t imagine a future for me without you in it. At least until I had to.”

Ares’ face shifts, regret and something that looks like pain pulling his lips down into a frown. “Brynn, I know I fucked up. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to make you realize how sorry I am.”

“You don’t have to say it anymore, Ares,” I tell him. “I’m not holding on to that anger anymore. I promise. If I was, we wouldn’t be here like this now.” I look out the window as the town gives way to the quieter outskirts where it’s all private cabins and forest. “Maybe it’s for the best that things happened the way they did. Maybe it happened just how it was supposed to. We’re both doing well, we have amazing careers and full lives. That’s good, right?”

Ares nods, but he doesn’t seem totally convinced. He puts his focus back on the road and murmurs so quietly that I almost don’t hear it, “I’d give all that up to go back and change what I did.”

I swallow hard. I can’t be sure I heard him correctly, and it’s clear he didn’t want me to hear it, so I just let it go, trying to ignore the way my stomach is doing flips.

Luckily, we get to the cabin before I have to say anything else.

We get out of the car and hurry inside through the cold. As soon as I step in, something relaxes in me. It’s still warm and bright, and Tate comes out of the kitchen with a grin on his face.

“Sneaking out of your parents’ house in the middle of the night? You rebel, Brynn Carter.”