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I stayed there in her arms for what felt like a long time, letting myself cry a little, not caring who might hear from inside the diner or catch sight of us through the screen door. It felt like something had been sitting on my chest for years, and now that I’d finally said the words out loud, I could breathe a little easier even with everything else still a mess.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into her shoulder. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“Hush now.” She pulled back just enough to hold my face in her hands, the same way she used to when I was a boy. “You ain’t got nothin’ to apologize for. You hear me? Not a damn thing.”

“Chuck and them, they said things. About me and Westley.” My voice cracked on his name, and I hated how obvious it probably sounded, how much it gave away. “It ain’t true, though. I mean, it ain’t like that between us. He don’t feel that way about me. And I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

Dolly’s eyes softened even further, something knowing creeping into the corner of her mouth. “Sugar,” she said slowly, “how long you been carryin’ a torch for that boy?”

I felt my face go hot, and I dropped my gaze to the splintered wood of the picnic table. “Since we were kids, I think. I don’t really know when it started. It just always felt normal, bein’ close to him. And then somewhere along the way it stopped feelin’ normal and started feelin’ like somethin’ else.”

“And he don’t know.”

“No, ma’am. And he can’t ever know.” I shook my head hard enough that it made my ribs twinge in protest. “He’s my best friend, Dolly. And the only family I got left in this world besides you. I ain’t gonna risk losin’ that just because I can’t get my own feelings under control.”

Dolly settled back down onto the bench across from me, though she kept hold of one of my hands like she didn’t want me to run away just yet. She was quiet for a moment, turning something over in her mind, and I braced myself for whatever she was about to say next.

“You don’t think maybe he already suspects somethin’?” she asked carefully. “You two have been damn near inseparable for years. And you’re a lot more… well, physical with each other than most guys your age. That boy ain’t stupid, Rhett.”

My stomach twisted into a hard knot. “He’s just bein’ a good friend. That’s all it is.”

“I think there’s more to it than that,” she replied. “And I think that might be why his daddy is so hard on him. He sees somethin’ between you two, just like I do. I think you’re both just too damn stubborn to realize it.”

“He’s straight,” I said, trying not to give away the fact that my heart was racing about the idea of Westley liking me just as much as I liked him. “He just broke up with his girlfriend. That’s why his daddy’s mad.”

“Hmm,” she nodded, clearly not believing me. “And have you told him about who you are?”

I shook my head. “Can’t. I don’t want to lose him over that either.”

Dolly let out a long sigh. “Rhett, darlin’, I say this with all the love in the world.” She stared at me with that exasperated look on her face. “Have a little courage. That boy has been your best friend for your whole damn life. He don’t give a rat’s ass who you sleep with. But you not tellin’ him is not fair to your friendship. He tells you everything, don’t he?”

“I mean… I guess so…”

“Well? Then why don’t you do the same?”

I picked at the edge of the picnic table where the paint had chipped away, not quite ready to look at her. “Because if I tell him and he pulls away, that’s it. That’s everything gone. At least right now I still got him, even if it ain’t the way I want.”

“And if you don’t tell him,” Dolly said, “you’re gonna spend the rest of your life sittin’ next to that boy, achin’ for somethin’ you never even gave him the chance to want back. That sounds like a lonelier road to me than the one you’re scared of.”

I didn’t have an answer for that. She wasn’t wrong, but knowing she was right didn’t make the fear in my chest any easier to overcome.

“What if he don’t feel the same,” I said finally. “How are things ever supposed to go back to normal between us?”

Dolly reached over and brushed the hair from my forehead. “Sugar, things bein’ normal between you two hasn’t been true in a long while, has it? Not since whatever’s been eatin’ at you these past weeks. You think he ain’t noticed you pullin’ away? Men like Westley, they don’t always say what they’re thinkin’, but they feel it plenty. And believe me, if I’ve noticed it, then he has too.”

I thought about the way he’d looked that morning, pale and strange, not meeting my eyes.

“He’s been actin’ off,” I admitted quietly. “Since this mornin’. Somethin’s eatin’ at him.”

“There you go,” Dolly said, like I’d just proved her whole point for her. “Sounds like you both have things to talk about. I don’t know what, and I ain’t gonna pretend I do. But you keepin’ your mouth shut ain’t protectin’ nothin’. It’s just leavin’ the both of you standin’ in the dark, guessin’.”

I stared down at my hands, the knuckles still bruised from where I’d caught Chuck’s jaw. My chest felt tight, caught somewhere between hope and terror, two feelings that had no business sharing the same space but seemed determined to do it anyway.

“I don’t know how to even start that conversation,” I said. “What am I supposed to do, just walk up and say, hey West, by the way, I been in love with you since we were just kids, hope that don’t ruin everything?”

Dolly snorted, shaking her head. “Well, maybe not in them exact words. But somethin’ close to the truth would do you both some good. You don’t gotta have it all figured out today. Just... stop lettin’ it eat you alive from the inside, sugar. That’s all I’m askin’.”

I let out a long and shaky breath, and looked up at her. Her eyes were soft, patient, the same steady kindness she’d shown me my whole life.