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“I was thirteen. He had oesophageal cancer that was caught too late. My mother left when I was still a baby. I don’t know much about her, only that she lives in the UK now and remarried a couple of years ago. She has a brother who lives in Wicklow. Dad used to take Sloane and me to visit him when we were young, but I haven’t seen him in a long time.”
“Did she have any more kids?”
“Not as far as I know. I think that was the problem between her and my dad. He wanted kids, and she didn’t, but she had them anyway to please him. Then after I was born, it all became too much.” She shrugged, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I guess not everyone’s family stays together. Separation, death, mental illness, there’s so much that can tear people apart.”
There was something sad in her voice that had me wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She exhaled a heavy breath, then sank into my embrace. Every cell in my body came alive as I held her. She smelled faintly of soap and some kind of herbal shampoo. It was quickly becoming my favourite scent. I tugged us back a little to rest against the stack of pillows, and Erin remained in my hold. I brought my other arm around her and thought I saw her shudder ever so slightly.
Did the closeness feel as intense for her as it did for me?
So long as she allowed me to hold her, I was going to keep doing it. Letting my head fall back, I stared up at the ceiling. “Huh, I never noticed that before,” I muttered quietly.
“What is it?” Erin asked,
“There’s a skylight in the roof, see there,” I pointed, and she tilted her head to look up. “You can see the stars.”
“Oh, I never noticed it either,” she whispered, her head dropping back down onto my chest, but she repositioned herself so that she could look at the stars, too.
This might’ve been the most romantic moment of my life, and we hadn’t even kissed. And speaking of kissing, I really wanted to kiss her.
“There’s a party at the beach this Friday,” I said in an effort to distract myself. “Want to go with me?”
She pressed her lips together. “I’m not sure. What will it be like?”
“We can just have a couple drinks and hang out. Sometimes people go swimming when they’ve had too much alcohol, though it’s not for the faint of heart. The water can be freezing at night.”
“I’ll bet it’s cold during the day, too. This is Ireland after all,” she joked before continuing, “But sure, I’ll go with you. Just don’t let me get drunk enough that I think going for a swim that will give me hypothermia is a good idea.”
“I won’t.” I smiled. “You have my word.”
9.
Erin
We walked towards the bonfire on the beach, and there were dozens of people from school milling around, laughing and drinking, some flirting or making out. I hadn’t been to a party like this in a long time, so I wasn’t sure what to make of it. One guy, who’d clearly had way too much to drink already, pulled his top off and began swinging it around his head as he let out a battle cry before running down the other end of the beach.
Where was he going? Who knew.
“Every time Stuart Miller gets drunk he thinks he’s in Braveheart,” Tristan said, and I laughed.
The smell of burnt wood and seaweed filled my nose just as Tristan moved closer. He leaned in and asked, “You okay?” while taking my hand into his. It was almost like he knew I was having second thoughts and wanted to ground me. I felt someone’s attention and spotted a pretty brunette standing with some other girls over by the bonfire. Her gaze lowered to mine and Tristan’s joined hands, and a hurt look crossed her face. I think her name was Natalie. We were in the same French class.
“I’m not sure this is my scene,” I said.
“You’re here with me, so that makes it your scene,” he replied, and I could’ve argued with his logic, but then we were suddenly surrounded by people. Okay, so this was what it was like to be popular. Tristan was so at ease with everyone needing a little bit of his attention, and it was honestly fascinating. Had he been born with the ability to breeze by being the centre of attention, or was it a skill he’d developed later on?
He started introducing me to everyone, but there were too many names for me to remember. There was a tall, dark-haired guy who looked a little like Tristan, so it made sense when he introduced him as his brother.
“Derek, meet my friend, Erin. Erin, this is Derek, who you’ve already heard lots about.”
“It was all good, I promise,” I said to Derek with a smile, and he grinned.
“Well, Tristan’s told me next to nothing about you, and that’s not like him, so that must mean you’re important. He only keeps his favourite things a secret.”
His statement had my heart skipping a beat. I was also relieved he hadn’t spoken to his brother about me because that meant he hadn’t told him about the attic.
I’d emailed the college girls who were looking for a third roommate, and they’d arranged for me to come visit the apartment on Monday, but there was no guarantee they’d pick me. That meant I might need to hide out at the hotel for a while longer.
Tristan handed me a can of beer, and as I popped it open, I noticed Natalie looking at us again. She seemed completely crestfallen, and I had to wonder if she and Tristan had been a thing at some point. I wanted to ask him about her, but I also felt awkward. What if he said yes, that she was an ex-girlfriend of his or a recent hookup of some sort? I’d grown attached to him over the last few weeks, but I still wasn’t sure how he felt about me. I also didn’t want him to think I was jealous since I had no right to be. Tristan and I were hanging out, but he’d never given me the impression he wanted to be anything more than friends.