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Casper

Wanna see it?

His possum?

Is this some euphemism for a dick pic?

Casper

You think I refer to my dick as “possum”?

I’ve heard worse.

Casper

My condolences.

You’re telling me you have an actual possum? Like possum-possum?

Casper

Yes.

Then yeah, and I have a few follow-up questions.

My phone buzzes with a photo. Holy shit, it’s a possum. In a miniature fleece coat.

Where did you find a coat to fit him?

Casper

I had one of mine tailored to fit HER.

How do you know it’s a girl?

Casper

I asked for her pronouns, duh.

She’s really cute.

Casper

Right?!

What’s her name?

Casper

Debra.

Of course it is.

And she’s your . . . pet?

Casper

She lives outside, but I feed her and she keeps coming around. Possums get a bad rep, but they’re actually really beneficial. They eat ticks and because their body temp is so low, they rarely transmit diseases.