Page 69
“God or the universe or whoever or whatever it is that controls this shit,” Avi said, waving a hand around wildly. “He died of natural causes.”
“Natural causes?” Felix and Zane echoed together.
Avi nodded. “Yeah, found him in bed, tucked in tight, all dead and bloated in his fucking tighty-whiteys. Looks like he had a heart attack or stroke or something. He was in pristine condition, not so much as a black eye or a stubbed toe. He didn’t suffer at all,” he finished glumly.
They all sat in silence for a moment, now looking as dejected as he felt.
It was never fair when anyone got to leave this world without having to suffer the consequences of their own actions.
“What’d you do with the body?” Asa asked.
“Nothing,” Avi said. “I just left. Why should I do the universe’s dirty work for them? Body disposal isn’t my job. Killing is. Besides, it would look weirder if he disappeared than if they just found his dead body.”
“On the bright side,” Zane said, “maybe nobody will find him for weeks and he’ll just rot away in bed. Hopefully, he’s trapped there as a ghost, forced to watch it all happen.”
Zane shuddered at the thought.
“Did you call Dad?” Felix asked, scritching his nails along Avi’s scalp, making his eyes roll with pleasure.
“Mm,” he hummed. “He said it was good to leave him there. That someone would find him eventually.”
“That sucks. I’m sorry, baby,” Felix crooned, still petting him.
“Me too,” Zane said. “Anything we can do to make you feel better?”
Avi looked between Zane and Felix, keeping his tone sad. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to a blowjob.”
Felix snorted. “Are you asking me or Zane?”
Avi shrugged. “Both?”
“You want me to watch my husband and yours give you a blowjob?” Asa asked.
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Zane said, rolling his eyes. “Hell, Felix and I took care of you while Avi was gone. It only seems fair that he gets something, too. No?”
“That was different,” Asa said. “He wasn’t forced to just watch.”
“Stop pouting. Nobody said you had to just watch,” Zane scolded.
“Yeah,” Avi said. “I’m sure one or both of them would happily let you use them in any capacity you like even if I keep their mouths full.”
Felix snorted. “You seem awfully confident we’re going to say yes.”
“Of course, you are, kitten,” Avi said. He gave them both his saddest puppy dog eyes and pooched out his lip. “I’m sad. I need your mouths on my dick to feel better. Help me.”
Zane looked over his shoulder at Asa, who shrugged.
“Go ahead, Lois. I guarantee I’ll find something to occupy my time back here,” he promised, his hand sliding down the back of Zane’s pants.
“What’s in it for me?” Felix asked haughtily.
Asa chuckled. “Don’t worry, kitten, I can take care of you both. Guaranteed.”
“You only have one mouth,” Felix reminded him.
Asa laughed. “Maybe so, but I also have a dick and two working hands. I got you.”
“See?” Avi said. “Problem solved.”
