Page 7
“I want to have a baby,” Felix said.
“Yeah…?” Zane prompted.
“With Avi.”
“I assumed as much given that you’re like legally wed and stuff,” Zane teased.
“Is it crazy? To want to bring a poor defenseless baby into this family? Into our house?” Felix asked, voice unusually meek.
“Again, Lix, context? Is it crazy because we both married psychopaths? Because we both married narcissists? Because they’re both horny twenty-four seven and we have a sex attic in our country home? What part is it that has you freaked out?”
“I just meant because the boys can’t love anything. What if they, like, just leave him crying for hours or get pissed and, like, shake him. Oh, god or, like, just…I don’t know. I don’t even want to say what I’m thinking out loud.”
“That’s grim,” Zane said, stroking Felix’s hair. “But I kind of think you’re just letting your intrusive thoughts win. Yes, our husbands are selfish, horny dicks…often. But they’re also crazy smart, disgustingly rational, and never lose their temper except on people who try to hurt the family. And any babies you have will not just be family, they’ll be ours. With them. They’ll be fathers. You’ve seen how fiercely protective they are of their nieces. Do you think they’ll be less so with our own kids?”
Felix sighed. “No. Probably not.”
“Probably not?” Zane repeated.
Felix gave another long-suffering sigh. “Definitely not.”
Zane frowned. “Why do you still sound sad then?”
“What if it changes things?”
Zane frowned. “Babies do change things. But change isn’t always a bad thing.”
“What if it changes us?” Felix said, burrowing deeper into Zane’s arms.
“Us as in you and me? Or us as in the four of us?”
“Both?” Felix asked.
“Changes us how?” Zane asked, struggling to understand what had Felix so upset.
“Like this. Us. Right now. Can I still cuddle you once the kids are old enough to see it? Can the four of us still cuddle? Can I still kiss you whenever I want? Will our kids think it’s weird that I kiss Asa goodbye like I kiss Avi? Will we get arrested? Will they take our kid away from us? I don’t know what the rules are.”
“There are no rules,” Zane said. “Polyamory isn’t illegal. I don’t know how our kids seeing us all in a happy, healthy, loving relationship is going to emotionally scar them. Nothing has to change between us. If anything, we’re so much better off than most couples. There’s four of us for one baby. Like, that has to be better than two.”
“Is it selfish of me to ask you and Asa to change your lives because I want a baby?”
Zane frowned. “Did you ever think I want a baby, too?”
Felix looked up, horrified. “No! I-I mean, we could, like, try to find surrogates together, I guess. If we both used Lola’s eggs, then our kids would be…half-siblings and cousins? That would be weird, right? But still, I wasn’t trying to steal this from—”
Zane put a hand over Felix’s mouth, cutting him off. “Your babies are my babies and vice versa. This is what we signed on for when we married the twins. I don’t need them to have my DNA for them to be mine. Asa and I already talked about it. We knew the minute you brought it up you were already thinking about it.”
“Oh,” Felix said, voice dull.
Zane continued to pet Felix, eyes widening as he felt his stomach become damp. “Are—Are you crying?”
“You don’t have to point that out,” Felix wailed.
Zane had no idea what was going on. He was wholly out of his element. Normally, he was the one having the emotional breakdown and they were the ones comforting him. Felix, despite being the youngest, was most definitely the strongest, the most determined. The one who always got what he wanted. Zane was the caretaker of the house, but Felix was the caretaker of everyone’s feelings.
Zane pushed Felix onto his back, then sat between his legs so he could look down at him. Tears trailed down Felix’s cheeks to his hairline. Zane gripped his hips and squeezed, thumbs running along the vee there. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered.
Felix sniffled. “I know, but thanks.”
