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The vortex already sucked him in. He was lost in the abyss.

I jerked, sobbing behind the gag. The world narrowed to pain, to the sound of him panting, to the slap of flesh, to the iron grip of the chain.

My hands clawed at the sheets, searching for something to hold onto, but there was nothing. Only him, only pain, only the endless, suffocating dark.

I didn’t know how much more my body could take. I wished it would give out, I wished I would just die already.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the blood smeared on the floor, dark and sticky, half-dried.

It wasn’t mine. It was old, brown-black, a stain left by another girl, or maybe many, all the ones who didn’t survive. My tears came faster, my mind spinning—was I next? Was I already dead?

I tried to remember my mother’s voice, the sound of her singing, the feel of her arms around me. But all I could hear was Malakar’s voice, snarling in my ear, the sound of my own muffled sobs while he fucked into me. His cock hitting the deepest parts of me.

My vision went white at the edges, pain flaring up my spine. I screamed into the gag, the sound swallowed by the mattress.

He slammed into me, hips snapping, breath coming in harsh grunts. His hands were everywhere, grabbing, squeezing, marking me as his. My arms shook, my legs went numb, and I let myself drift further, into the dark, where nothing could hurt me.

When he came, it was with a savage, broken cry, his fingers leaving bruises on my skin, his body shaking with the force of it. He stayed inside me for a moment, panting, forehead pressed to my back, sweat pooling between us.

Then, abruptly, he pulled out, shoved me to the mattress, and stood, staggering away. He paced the room, muttering to himself, lost in the shadows.

I curled into a ball, sobbing, blood and cum leaking down my thighs, the chain biting deeper into my ankle.

I stared at the blood by the bed, the broken glass in the corner, the fading outline of his shadow as he disappeared up the stairs. Alone again, broken, caged, with nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat and the ghosts of all the girls who came before me.

I rocked myself, clutching my belly, humming a lullaby through the gag, hoping the dark would take me, just enough to numb the pain.

There were no monsters, my mother said. But here, in this room, in this body, with the chain biting and the blood drying and the taste of old tears in my mouth, I knew the truth. And as the last of Malakar’s footsteps vanished into silence, I realized the worst thing of all.

Part of me was grateful he wasn’t angry. Part of me was grateful for even the smallest scrap of tenderness. Part of me wanted him to come back, wanted to believe he could be gentle, wanted to believe he could love me.

That was the horror, that was the terror. I was starting to want my monster. I was starting to sing in my cage.

Chapter 14

I’ll Save You, Momma

Malakar

PAST: AGED 15

“Hey, Noctharis, has your mom been admitted to the nut house yet? Or is she still talking to the walls?”

I heard my last name and looked to see some fucking kids snickering at me. My eye twitched. I squared my shoulders and stalked towards them.

“How about you shut the fuck up, before I smash your face in,” I told him, glowering at him with cold eyes.

He tried to act tough, though he was scrawnier than me. “I bet you won’t. You’re like a freak on a leash. All talk, no action.”

His buddies laughed. My muscles itched for a fight, but he was right, I was a fucking coward. Couldn’t ever stand up to my dad, couldn’t even stand up to this piece of shit.

“Nah, I just don’t want to hear my dad’s lectures on fighting at school.” I turned to walk away, but the kid kept pushing.

“Yeah? You scared of your daddy? That’s fucking lame.” His fucking voice was mocking me, taunting me. I stopped in my tracks.

“Stop talking,” I warned him, still not turning around.

“Or what? You’ll glare at me again? Give pathetic comebacks?” He kept pushing, harder and harder. I was already on edge, panic gripping every nerve, hating what I was going to go home to.