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Tonight, I stopped being a child. Tonight, I learned the truth about monsters.

Chapter 4

Paralyzed

Starla

He woke me in the dark. At first, I thought I was hallucinating. There was the faintest of touch, then the prickly feeling that I wasn’t alone. A figure stood by the bed, hovering over me. For a moment, I thought it was my father. He escaped prison to kill me for sending him away.

It wasn’t my father. It was the monster who captured me.

“What the—” I started, but he stopped the sentence from spilling over by putting a hand over my mouth.

“Hush, little bluebird. I want you to fly away and dream, I don’t need you ruining this for me.” Before I could ask what he meant, Malakar grabbed me and jabbed a needle into my skin.

“Shit—what the hell?” I blurted out, trying to push myself away.

He pushed me backwards, and shook his head. “Don’t worry. I didn’t give you enough to take you away from me.”

My stomach twisted, and my flesh went cold. “What?”

“You’ll be here,” he whispered. “Mostly. You’ll hear me. Feel some things. Forget other things. Your body just won’t listen when you beg it to run. You’ll go into a conscious paralysis of some sort, you’ll feel numb in your limbs.”

At first, I didn’t feel any different. It wasn’t instant, but it came on slowly. My fingers twitched. My knee pulled an inch against the blanket.

His eyes dropped to it. “There,” he said. “That’s better. My sweet little bluebird. Still awake. Still mine. Just with clipped wings.”

He gripped my shoulders, and there was no resistance. None. I wasn’t even in my body. I was somewhere up above, a dead star floating in an empty sky.

He peeled the blanket away from me. His breath, too close, hot and sour. I tried to jerk away. Reflex. Instinct. In my head, I did it a hundred times over. Fight back. Scream. Bite. DO SOMETHING. My body didn’t care. Not one single muscle paid attention. Only my eyes, blinking, like broken Christmas lights.

He dragged me to the edge of the mattress and rolled me, halfway, so my chest was pressed to the sheets and my face mashed into the pillow.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening. It can’t. I can’t let this happen. What did he give me? It must be ketamine. Maybe mixed with something?

Part of me wanted to hope he’d just inject me again, take me out, let me sleep. But he didn’t. He ran his hand over my hip, pressing so hard it bruised. He left finger-shaped marks, branding me as his. I could only feel it through a slow, distorted haze. Like my nerves weren’t listening.

He kept murmuring, his voice was like a sickening lullaby, “You’re so special, little bluebird. So much stronger than the others.”

What others? How many others? My mind screamed, but my voice was silent, locked away in this numb body.

He pressed his body against mine, his weight crushing me into the mattress. I could feel his excitement, his sick, twisted desire. No, please, don’t do this. My thoughts were frantic, but my body was a lead weight, unresponsive and heavy.

“You’re mine, little bluebird,” he whispered, his voice hot against my ear. “All mine.”

I’m not yours. I’ll never be yours. I screamed in my head, but the words never left my lips. I was trapped, a prisoner in my own body, unable to fight, unable to move.

He grabbed my hair, yanking my head back. A choked gasp escaped my throat, the only sound I could make. Tears stung my eyes, blurring my vision, but I couldn’t even blink them away.

My mouth was dry as a desert, and my body wasn’t there anymore. Did I even exist?

“That’s right, little bluebird,” he cooed, his voice a chilling whisper. “Cry for me. Let me see those pretty tears.”

I won’t cry for you. I won’t give you the satisfaction. But my body betrayed me, tears slipping down my cheeks, soaking into the pillow.

He ran his hands over my body, rough and demanding. I could feel the callouses on his palms, the harshness of his touch. He was taking what he wanted, and I was powerless to stop him.

Please, don’t do this. Please, please, please. My mind begged, but my voice was silent. I was trapped in a nightmare, unable to wake up, unable to escape.