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I grabbed the pile of shirts, picked the cleanest one, and opened the curtain.

He stood there with his arms crossed. “Well? Did you find some?”

I nodded, still flustered and shocked from Malakar’s presence. “Yes, I did.”

We walked to the counter to check out, he paid. Thankfully, since I still don’t have my card yet. It would take up to a week to deliver.

He held the bag tight in his fist, marching me out to the parking lot. I blinked against the sunlight, body trembling, legs rubbery and useless. The world spun around me. My panties were gone. My pussy throbbed, sticky, used.

In the car, I pressed my thighs together. I kept thinking about the scarecrow mask. The way he’d bent me over. The mirror. My own face, ruined. The way I had moaned into the fistful of panties, desperate and terrified, wanting more.

What was wrong with me? He kidnapped me, so why did I crave him?

Chapter 35

In My Bloodstream

Starla

The change happened slowly. It slipped through the cracks, weaving through my mind, infecting my bones, shattering the memory of fear and disgust. It came in slowly, cloaked and silent, and suddenly it was right there. We don’t notice these things, not until it’s too late, until everything has changed, until the dark closes in and you fall under.

Did it start when he wept for the first time? Did it start when he forced me to cum? Did it start when I discovered he was Milo? Did it start when he showed kindness? It was hard to tell.

I kept circling it, trying to find the exact moment I stopped seeing him as something I needed to survive and started seeing him as something I needed to keep.

Truth was, there was no sudden snap. Just tiny pieces of myself giving way over time until I couldn’t tell what belonged to fear anymore, and what belonged to him.

I used to think monsters changed you by force, by blood, by pain. By locking doors and taking away every choice until there was nothing left. Nothing except exhaustion, and the need to obey to prevent pain.

But sometimes they change you by becoming familiar, safe, warm. By making the darkness feel less frightening. By becoming the first thing your mind reaches for when everything else hurt. That terrified me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking myself how to escape Malakar. I started wondering what would happen if he disappeared.

Did it even happen the way I remembered it? I remembered chains, I remembered screaming, I remembered blood and fear. I remembered hating him so much that sometimes, that feeling was the only thing keeping me alive.

But then another memory. His hand in my hair, his head in my lap while he cried, the softness in his voice, his warmth when he cradled me. Somehow those memories swallowed the others.

That wasn’t right, I knew it wasn’t. Trauma could do strange things to the mind. He hurt me, he loved me, he held me.

I started leaving the windows unlocked when Brandon wasn’t looking, leaving the curtains open. At first, I didn’t even consider why I did it. Then, I realized I wanted Malakar to come for me.

He was in my bloodstream, and I couldn’t escape it, I didn’t want to.

Chapter 36

Filthy Girl

Starla

Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw his mask, and saw myself being fucked mercilessly. Could Brandon see the shame and heat spilling from me? Could he smell my wetness? Could he see through my lies?

Each time he looked at me, I braced myself for an accusation or some form of verbal torture.

Brandon watched me from across the room. I kept my head down, chewed my piece of bagel, and acted normal. I couldn’t show how fucked up I felt inside. I wanted to pretend it never happened.

I could still feel Malakar’s hands on me. I could feel the ache between my legs, deep and consuming. I wanted more. I wanted to see him again. But I also wanted to be left alone, forever, to rot.

Brandon cleared his throat. “Alice and Landon want to meet for dinner tonight.” He didn’t look at me, just glared at his phone. “They said they wanna catch up. She’s been texting me all day about it. I told her sure.”

Panic flashed through me. I hated being around them. They were normal. I was not. I barely knew how to hold my face together for an hour. “Where are we going?”