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I really wish she were here.

Because even though this is what I’ve been dreaming about for years, it feels like a hollow victory without her to share it with.

The venue they booked for the Live, from Nashville! New Year’s Eve Ball is one of the biggest I’ve ever played, with a main stage area that has the capacity for seventeen hundred ticket holders and an indoor/outdoor rooftop deck with a second stage and a view of the Cumberland River. The venue even has enough greenrooms available that each performer or group gets their own, which is wild to me. On tour with Six String Justice, we usually ended up hanging out in the back of the van or crammed into a tiny room the size of a phone booth until it was time for our set. Now I have an entire room with an attached, sparkling clean bathroom all to myself.

And yet…

If the guys were here, Johnny and Ryder would be goofing off like always. There’s a bowl of M&M’s on the refreshment table, and I can picture Ryder trying to toss M&M’s into Johnny’s mouth from across the room. They’d whoop and holler whenever one made it in. Justin would be sitting in the huge armchair in the corner, updating Six String Justice’s social media accounts and messing around on his phone. He’d ignore us until it was time to head out to play and then bark orders at us as if we were incapable of preparing ourselves for a show. Thing is, I can’t picture what I’d be doing if we were all here in the greenroom.

Justin’s words come back to me, but in a whole different light. What do you bring to the table?

What did I do when we were still a four-person unit?

It hits me now that maybe I had outgrown them. As much as it hurt at the time, Justin did me a favor. It was time for me to move on.

I think I have moved on.

Paisley helped a lot with that. All those hours helping me write songs, teaching me how to mix music, sharing her keen ear and the insights that made me a better songwriter and a better musician. I wish it had also made me a better man.

I sigh. If Paisley were here, she’d probably be reminding me to drink plenty of water. She’d have her legs curled up underneath her on the couch, playing with one of the many bracelets on her wrist, gently snapping the elastic or twirling the beads. I’d probably say something stupid and her laugh would fill up the room.

My heart pinches in my chest, and I blink back to a greenroom where it’s just me and some furniture. Here I am, with my dreams coming true. I never expected it to feel so lonely.

There’s a knock on the door, and then Barry pokes his head in.

“Hey, kid,” he says, stepping all the way inside and pulling the door shut behind him. “How you feeling?”

Nervous. Excited. Sad. Elated. Worried. Determined.

“Fine,” I say, because Barry doesn’t have all day to hear about the roller coaster of emotions I’m riding on.

“Excellent. You’re going to do great out there.”

I sure as hell hope so.

While I’m excited about being the headliner, it also means I’m the last to play. It’s a lot of waiting around and stressing out, especially now that the rehearsals and sound checks are over.

“I have the latest set list,” Barry says, handing me a bright green sheet of paper. On the top, in bold lettering, it reads: TENTATIVE SCHEDULE.

There are three columns on the page: Time, Main Stage, and Rooftop.

I scan down to the bottom of the third column where, at 11:55 p.m., I’m set to perform “Worth the Wait” as a solo act—not a duet—on the rooftop right before the ball drops. It still seems a bit like a dream, that I’ve managed to nab the headlining spot out of all the other performers. It never would have been possible without Paisley, and I wish for the millionth time today that she were here to share this moment with me.

As I’m glancing back up at Barry, my eyes catch on an entry for the main stage for the half-hour time slot that starts at 11:05 p.m.: Leland Bellwether TBD

“What happened here?” I ask, pointing it out to Barry.

“Flight got delayed ’cause of an ice storm.”

“They got a replacement in mind?”

I’m not going to get anywhere in this business if I don’t take every opportunity presented to me. And maybe even some I have to create myself. I can’t piddle around and wait for things to happen. I have to make them happen.

Barry glances at me with a knowing grin. “You want that spot?”

Someone once told me that if I wanted to be a successful career musician, I needed to do two things: get damn good at playing and then find as many opportunities as I could to get up in front of people and play.

I nod. “Sure do.”