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“I mean, guys fuck around all the time, right? Maybe he just wants a shallow arrangement.” She held up a finger. “Which isn’t a problem if you want that, too. Those can be fun. But I get the impression you don’t want a fuck buddy.”

“I don’t,” I mumbled.

“About time,” she said, turning to help with the statues again. “I always wondered why you were anti-relationship.”

I couldn’t tell her my history.

I wasn’t even sure I wanted a relationship with Ash—much less someone else. It seemed right in the moment when I ignored our different species, but that wasn’t a realistic approach.

I understood being physically attracted to the four of them. But I hadn’t grasped the depth of my feelings for Ash and Zeke until now. It snuck up on me—worried me. Seeing another guy while already involved with someone else felt wrong.

“You should try a dating app,” Maya said, stealing me from my thoughts.

“Don’t you mean a hookup app? No, thank you.”

“So you do want a relationship.”

“I’m not saying that.” I sighed. “I’m saying I don’t wanna meet some rando who only wants to get laid.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. Just isn’t for me.”

I knew Maya used the apps—most women my age did. I tried it, but after one guy tried to get me to blow him in the movie theater, I deleted the app and called it quits.

“What about my cousin Leo?”

I pushed up from the floor, and she joined me. “What about him?”

“You know he’s had a crush on you for a while.”

“Not really.”

I met Leo at Thanksgiving last year. He’d seemed interested, but I hadn’t been ready for anything.

“Well, he asks about you whenever I see him. You should let me set the two of you up.”

“I’ll think about it.”

I couldn’t commit to anything. Not with a torn heart. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone, including myself. I didn’t need to add another man into my chaotic thoughts while grieving the loss of Grandma.

I rubbed my eyes as pressure built behind them.

“Enough about that,” Maya said as we made our way to the counter where Trudy worked the register. “Tonight. Chinese and a movie?”

“What’s playing?”

“Oh. I meant at your place.”

Shit. “Um.” I toyed with the hem of my blouse. “About that…”

She rounded on me. “No excuses. We haven’t had a movie night in weeks.” Her face softened. “I’ve been worried about you since Bonnie passed. What’s going on? Don’t ice me out now that she’s gone. Let me help you.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. I knew I couldn’t avoid her forever. “Fine. But you need to know what you’re walking into beforehand. Just… don’t ask a lot of questions, because I don’t think I can answer all of them.”

We stepped behind the counter, moving past Trudy, who assisted a customer I made a point of avoiding. The woman’s half-melted face made me nauseous.

I pulled out display trays while Maya set a box filled with fashion rings on the counter. “The guys you met? They’re staying at my house.”