Page 139

“Ash,” she moaned.

I ground my teeth against the emotions bubbling up in my throat. For the first time in twenty-six years, I hated the position forced upon me from birth. Every fiber of my being screamed to stay with her.

Why did she affect me like this?

Anger at whatever manipulated our lives tore through me, and I dropped my head, unable to stop the tears leaking.

She reached for me, and I pulled her close until she straddled my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, claiming my lips for her own. I tasted salty tears on her lips, but I didn’t know if they were mine or hers.

When her inner walls contracted around me, I lowered her to the bed, cloaking her body as I quickened my pace.

“I’m close,” she whispered, her voice raw and broken.

I stroked her cheek, gripping the pillow beside her head with my other hand. “Me too, beautiful. Come for me.”

I bit my tongue to avoid coming when her inner walls squeezed my cock. I couldn’t come inside her. Once her body relaxed, I withdrew from her, stroking myself a few times before painting her stomach with my cum.

After taking a few moments to catch my breath, I kissed her knee. “Don’t move.” I climbed off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

When I returned, I pressed a cool washcloth between her thighs to clean her up so she wouldn’t mess up her sheets. I then wiped her stomach with slow, gentle strokes.

She yawned and smiled at me. I still sensed sadness in the room, but she seemed sated, and that’s what mattered the most to me.

“Do you want dinner?”

She rolled onto her side with a soft hum of denial, mumbling, “Sleepy.”

“You don’t have to eat tonight,” I said, knowing she needed rest. I could give her a big breakfast in the morning to make up for it. “I’ll tell the others you’re tired.”

She grabbed my arm as I went to climb off the bed. “Stay. Please?”

“You want me to sleep with you?”

“Mmhm.” She yawned again, snuggling into the pillow.

“I can do that. Do you…” I shook my head with a smile when her eyes closed.

Clothes didn’t matter. Not after what we did.

When I climbed under the covers, I pulled her close and she snuggled against me.

I glanced up to see Cyn round the corner at the top of the stairs, peering into the room. When he saw me holding her, he lifted a hand in acknowledgment and pulled the door closed.

The fruity-rose scent of the pillow calmed my aching heart.

Hours later, unable to sleep, I sat up and leaned against the headboard.

Ezra warned me not to get closer to Rae, but I didn’t listen. He warned me again after scenting her on me when I fled her room in a panic about our wings. He never ordered me, but I knew he wanted to.

Now that I’d given in to desire and the intoxication of her arousal’s scent, my heart felt heavier than ever.

I bent my knees, resting my elbows on them, covering my face.

The whole situation was my fault, and I’d have to live with the consequences. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to regret my decision to go this far with Rae. We both knew it couldn’t go beyond sex, but that didn’t make the moment less real.

A memento to remember each other by.

I reached to turn on the bedside lamp when she made a soft sound and rolled onto her back.