Page 145
CYN
Ialways figured Zeke was the only one who could take me down, but as I knelt in front of Raelynn, literally begging her for relief, I understood how much control I’d given her. She hadn’t taken it. She hadn’t manipulated me into handing it over. I’d surrendered it little by little.
My gut told me she’d ruin me if I got too close—and I was right. But the twisted truth that lived within me was that I wanted her to.
But she didn’t want to control me.
She had the power, but she didn’t use it.
If she’d wanted to destroy me, she would’ve told Zeke the truth long ago. Instead, she respected my boundaries and kept my secret. I was a fool for not realizing it sooner.
“Why did you do it?”
My gaze snapped to hers when she ripped me from my thoughts.
“Why didn’t you give the necklace back when you saw how much it hurt me when you took it?”
Shame burned through my veins when I admitted the truth. “I didn’t trust you.”
“I know you don’t trust me.”
“No. I didn’t.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I do now.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Why didn’t you trust me?”
The whispered question froze me in place.
It was a simple question, yet the answer would reveal so much. If I truly trusted her, I needed to cut open a wound I’d sworn to keep wrapped tight forever.
“I don’t trust anyone anymore.” Pushing to my feet, I turned to the counter and braced my hands on its edge. “Not the way I did as a kid. But it’s not as simple as being wary of everyone without reason.” I glanced at her. “I have more than enough reason.”
“So tell me. Help me understand.”
“I am.” I pushed off the counter and paced to the sink, washing the flour off my arms and hands. “I’m trying.”
She leaned against the center island, waiting for me to find my words—at least I hoped that was why she’d gone quiet.
I grabbed the hand towel and scrubbed my arms to distract myself from the panic clawing inside my chest.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell her; I wanted her to know.
But I couldn’t hide the fear talking about my past stirred in me.
“Back when I was a kid, I thought Mom abandoned the council and left my dad.” I tossed the towel down and turned to her. “She’d taken me, and we’d moved to a town far from Alonia. She’d said Dad didn’t care or want to see me anymore.”
I braced my hands on the counter at my hips.
“I didn’t understand it, but Mom seemed so afraid that I didn’t question her. She’d said we weren’t safe, so she kept me hidden in the house for six months. I didn’t get to talk to or see anyone but her.”
“Why weren’t you safe? What happened with your dad?”
“She said Dad had convinced Cornaith she was after the throne. That if she hadn’t married my dad, she might have taken it instead of Cornaith since they’re siblings.”
A frown creased her brow. “But she has a throne.”
“Not the throne of Elyrdin’s leader, though.” I shook my head. “But that’s not the point. She spent six months manipulating me, turning me against Dad… or so I thought.”
“What?”
