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He dropped his hand, and I missed the contact immediately. We turned and walked the couple dozen feet into his backyard. “Is the moon important?”

“Uhh, well, yeah. It causes the waves in the ocean, and a bunch of other stuff I’m blanking on,” he muttered. “Werewolves!” He snapped, his voice rising in excitement. “It makes the werewolves be wolves… I think.”

I snickered. “I know the general importance of it. I mean to me. It feels important to me, but I can’t remember.”

He was quiet for a moment as we walked. Finally, he stopped, turning to me with the bat outstretched. “How much have you been told in regards to the events leading up to your abduction?”

I was taken aback by the change in topic and took the bat from his grasp. “Nothing, really. I haven’t felt ready to ask.”

He sighed and closed his eyes just for a breath, looking back at me as he slid on the baseball glove. “When you’re ready, let me know, and I can tell you all about the moon. Now walk about ten feet that way—” he pointed behind me “—and we can get started.”

I listened, dragging the heavy bat behind me. “Get started with what?”

“Baseball,” he explained, his hands outstretched, motioning around us as if we weren’t just in his backyard, but instead in a field.

I raised a brow. “I’m not following.”

He smiled wide, a dimple popping up on his cheek. “Something physical to get your mind off your nightmares. Plus, you don’t remember anything, so I know it’s something I can teach you. It’s simple really, I just throw this at you and you swing–”

A startled laugh fell from my lips, interrupting him. “I know what baseball is. It’s my personal memories I don’t have, doofus.”

His smile turned wistful. He shook whatever thought had entered his mind away. “Have you played before?”

“Didn’t we just have this conversation?” I asked, crossing my arms in front of me, which was awkward with the bat still in hand.

He scrunched his face in embarrassment. “Yep… sorry. Okay, hold the bat up.” I listened, my body moving to the position I knew was right, even if I couldn’t remember how I learned. “Perfect! Swing for the fences; let out your frustration on the ball.”

“This is stupid,” I grumbled.

He shook his head. “You don’t have your memories, but you have muscle memory. You can do this, and it will give your mind something else to focus on. It will be good for you.”

I sighed, dropping my hands to my sides. “Do you do this often? Come and play baseball in the middle of the night for the hell of it?”

He nodded. “I have, yeah, when life feels particularly heavy. Especially when River first came into my life. I would pound on that ball, pouring all my fear and anger and frustration into it. It helped. It’s good to have a coping mechanism. Maybe this won’t be yours, but it won’t hurt.”

I sighed and picked the bat back up, readying my swing. He smiled and tossed the ball in an arc through the air, and I listened to him. I swung the bat with all my might, letting out the frustration just as intended.

Lexington

“Why do you need your window replaced?” Jackie asked as she took her seat around the conference room table.

“A baseball went through it,” I mumbled as I nursed my coffee. To say I was exhausted was an understatement, but after hearing Goldie scream in the middle of the night, I didn’t know if I would ever sleep soundly again. Not if she wasn’t.

Despite my lie, Goldie had woken up River who in turn woke me up. Once I had managed to calm River down, I was in her room trying to pull her from her nightmares. She had been thrashing in her bed, groaning and yelling. It took over a minute to actually wake her up and nearly ten for her to come back to me. I hated it. With every fiber of my being, I hated it. I hated what had happened to her. I hated that she was dealing with the consequences of other people’s actions. I hated that I couldn’t make it all go away. But I could help, in whatever small way I could find.

Goldie deserved so much better than the shit hand she had been dealt. Moving her in with me was a spontaneous, impulsive, and very in character choice for me, but it was obvious it was needed. She spent most of her time locked away in her room, but the few times she ventured out and I saw those dark circles under her eyes, I knew she needed people around her right now.

After waking her up and learning she didn’t plan on going back to sleep, I knew I couldn’t leave her alone. When River was first born, I spent a lot of time at the batting cages. Once a week, my mom would pick River up for a day with her, and I would go take all my emotions out on that damned ball. It was cathartic, a bit ridiculous. But it worked for me. I hoped it would work for Goldie.

In so many ways, it had. She had smiled for the first time, a wide, toothy grin that transformed her. She had laughed—a real one. It lit up her whole face, her demeanor lightening for just a moment. If I could spend the rest of my life making her laugh, making her smile, I would.

“Did River throw it?” Oliver asked, leaning back in his chair at the table.

I shook my head. It was time for our weekly meeting. It was the first one since I had moved Goldie in, the first time I had been at work since. I was apprehensive about leaving her home. Not because I didn’t trust her, but because I didn’t want to be away from her. She and River were having a day together at home. He had refused to leave this morning, and I didn’t want to put Goldie through one of his tantrums. I was gearing up to get him out of the house when Goldie offered to stay home with him for the day. The two got along well, and I knew she could at the very least keep him alive. River was a fan of the idea, so I made the potentially stupid decision to let the memory-less woman living in my guest room watch my son.

I left her with a million numbers to call if she needed help, but so far she was doing great. I had called her four times in the two hours I had been at work, and by the last call, I could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

“I may not know my parents' names, but I do know how to keep a kid alive, Lex,” she had grumbled. “You don’t need to keep checking in.”