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I rolled my eyes. “It’s pretty hard to interpret it in a different way.”

“I’m not writing that article. Or any article like it. My editor wanted me to write an article about my experience working with you and sent me those talking points for what he wanted the article to say. He really wanted me to push the point forth that we were the only outlet readers could trust for their reviews. I copied the points into a draft email to mull over and think if there was any way I could make his point work in an article without putting you down but dismissed it almost immediately. What he wanted me to say just wasn’t true, and I felt embarrassed even considering it.”

“I don’t know,” I said. I wanted to believe him, but my feelings were still hurt.

He took my hand, holding it between the two of his. I let it happen, softening at the feel of his skin on mine. His palm was dry. Maybe he’d been so upset when I stormed off that he’d forgotten to moisturize.

“I know how it looks. I should’ve discussed it with you.” He took a deep breath. “I’m truly sorry, Julie. I just wish you’d given me a chance to explain instead of running off.”

His voice sounded sincere. I softened, like butter left out on the counter. Any further and I’d melt. “Yeah. I probably should have. I’m sorry.”

“I understand.” He gave me a tiny smile. I tiny-smiled back.

But my tiny smile totally evaporated when I remembered where I’d just come from. “And oh my God, I’m so sorry for what you had to see in there. I don’t know what came over me. I can’t believe I ruined Emerson Leigh’s party like that.” My stomach was sinking, and not just because I’d lost my job. “She might be totally oblivious, but she means well.”

Bennett shook his head. He moved his lips, but an ambulance sped by, siren wailing, followed by a couple of cop cars speeding through the intersection, making pedestrians with headphones on leap back onto the sidewalk. I leaned after it, making sure it wasn’t going to Maisie’s boutique—what if the shock of the evening had given Mr. Decker a heart attack?—before turning back to Bennett.

He was saying, “You’re right. But I can hardly blame you after listening to what she was saying. Even I, who grew up in a similar bubble, found it absurd.” He shook his head. “She’s trying her best. She really is. But she was born into a world where expectations are different.”

I couldn’t help but snort. “Yes, poor Emerson Leigh.” I wasn’t going to spend too much time feeling sorry for the beautiful girl who’d been born into one of the richest families on the planet, who’d had every need and every want accounted for her entire life, who got to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

“I know. It’s not the most sympathetic story,” Bennett said. “But she’s never worked for anything. Never gotten to fail at anything. Never had to stick her neck out or learn what she’s good at. She doesn’t know who she is or what she wants or what she’s good at. She’s so jealous of you, Julie, so jealous it hurts her, and I imagine it must have hurt her more to hear what you really think of her like that.”

“Jealous of me?” I laughed harder, so hard I had to take one of my hands back to wipe the tears from my eyes. “Yes, if I were the daughter of a near-billionaire who has everything handed to her on a silver platter, I would also be jealous of her dad’s assistant, who lives in a shitty apartment with a roommate and can barely pay her student loan debt. Do you think she even knows what student loan debt is?”

Bennett tucked a stray curl behind my ear. A pigeon cooed overhead. If some guy hadn’t been yelling about how big his dick was somewhere down the block, it would’ve been a really beautiful moment. “She’s jealous of Julie Zee Eats NYC. The Julie who’s hungry, who built something amazing out of nothing with grit and will and perseverance. The Julie who’s had to work hard because if she fails, the failure means something. That’s not something Emerson Leigh’s ever known.”

He was just making me feel worse and worse. “I’ll apologize and explain why I felt like she took advantage of me. But not right now. I can’t go back in there.”

“I’m sure you’ll see her at the office,” Bennett said, and I grimaced.

“Mr. Decker fired me.”

Bennett didn’t look all that surprised. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Bennett squeezed my hand. “It’s a push to do something new.”

I snorted and pulled my hand away. “Easy to say that when you’ve always had a safety net.” Though I did, too, really. If I couldn’t find a new job, I wouldn’t be on the street. My parents might not have much, but there would always be a room in their house for me. They’d feed me and help me figure out how to defer my student loans until I could pay them again. It was important to remember that I was privileged as well, even if nowhere to the extent of Emerson Leigh.

“I’m sorry,” Bennett said. “What I was attempting to say, insensitively, is that maybe now you’ll get to try something else out. My safety net is held together with all sorts of connections. I’ll put the word out that I have a brilliant friend seeking a new job. I’m sure something will turn up. Maybe even something at the Scroll.”

I waited for my insides to jump in excitement at the mere possibility, but they were still and cold.

“In the meantime,” Bennett said, “perhaps you’d like to come over for a snack? I have some new potato chip flavors I thought you might want to try.”

“I don’t know,” I said. While I loved potatoes and he may have explained that article, tonight had reminded me that he was part of a world I’d never really belong to. I might care about him, but we came from such different places. I’d always have to be watching my mouth, worrying about what I’d say, worrying everybody around him would always see me as less than. “I need time to think.”

He reached out and touched my shoulder. “I understand.” Did he, though? “I’m only a phone call away if you need me. Or a text. Or an email. Or—”

“I got it,” I said. I covered his hand with mine for a moment, only for a moment, so that I wouldn’t get sucked right back into the warmth of his skin, the heat of his kiss.

And then I pulled away.

20

I called Alice a few times on my way home, but she didn’t pick up. I texted her the highlights anyway and expected at least a few shocked emojis, but still nothing. Over the next few days, it was nearly impossible to get her on the phone. I only got a few vague texts expressing her sympathies and telling me that she’d have huge news for me soon that might help. Somehow. I had no idea how huge news on her part would help me with my lack of a job and my social obliteration, but I had faith in her.

I texted with Bennett a few times, too. Nothing conclusive. I just couldn’t see how we’d be able to make it work.

Marcus was the absolute best, stepping up to fill Alice’s small, expensive shoes. To his credit, he didn’t immediately ask if I’d be able to keep paying rent (he waited until the next day). We spent three nights in a row eating his homemade pecan pie ice cream from the freezer, making our way through the cardboard container. I cried snottily into his shoulder two of those nights, which, really, was a terrible thank-you for the ice cream. Though he did take the opportunity to take his snotty shirt off, which he loved, so maybe I’d done him a favor.