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“Oh, but they didn’t write the letter. Clemens Fabius did.”
He dropped my hands and leaned forward. “What?”
I explained how the man had arrived at Casa Violetta along with the soldiers.
Sebastianus’s face went pale with rage. “What kind of a man would do something like that? And why? Klaudia said she was barely able to intervene.”
I propped the pillows behind me and sat up straighter. “Revenge, I think, and to ensure that his family didn’t find out that he spent time in Corlivo.”
“Here, let me.” He adjusted one of the pillows and tucked the blanket around me. “By the gods, I should have killed him a year ago when I had the chance. No one would have blinked an eye if that ass of a man hadn’t made it back from Vendel.”
I thought of the silver knife I had seen him threaten Clemens Fabius with weeks before. “Why didn’t you?”
“It didn’t seem worth the effort. Little did I know.” He nodded toward the blanket. “Shift over there a bit.”
I moved to make room for him, and he settled onto the bed beside me, turning so that he faced me. “Anna, I can’t believe what you went through. I’m so sorry. My religious fanatic of an aunt should be thrown into the sea herself.”
“There were spectators, like it was a sporting event. Klaudia was there watching. Do executions happen a lot?”
He looked grave. “A few times a year, but usually not on such a grand scale. Don’t be too hard on Klaudia. She’s a member of the Imperial court, and executions are a custom here.”
“I will never forget it as long as I live. All those men drowning. And what will happen to the women?”
“I don’t know. Whatever my aunt has in mind, people who choose reform under fear of death don’t usually take those reforms to heart.” He touched my cheek gently. “I brought you to Panpirion thinking I was helping you. Perhaps that was just hubris.”
There was something immeasurably comforting about his presence, his quiet confidence, the way he seemed to view most situations through the lens of how he might solve whatever problem presented itself. I inched a bit closer to him. He pulled me tightly to him in a single sweep, encircling me with his arms. I heard the thudding of his heart, the rhythm of his breathing.
“I would never have forgiven myself if something had happened to you,” he whispered, “especially after we parted in disagreement. You were right. I did enjoy showing you off at dinner with Georgios’s family.” He sighed. “Despite what you might think, though, I didn’t intend to embarrass you. I thought you would enjoy yourself, conspiring with me against them. As Don has now reminded me several times, I was thoughtless and stupid. I hadn’t considered how it would feel for you. Just because I enjoy having you live here doesn’t mean others will understand it. Somehow, you make me see everything in a different light.”
“You enjoy having me live here?”
He tilted my face up to look at him. “Surely you know that I do.”
I met his eyes. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Weeks ago, when we were still at Corlivo, Clemens Fabius told me that you once murdered a fellow soldier. Is that true, or was he just trying to spread a false rumor?”
He loosened his embrace slightly. “You agreed to leave Corlivo with me despite thinking I might be a murderer?”
I laid my head against him again, breathing in the spicy smell of him, overlaid now with the scent of sweat and horses. “It seemed worth the risk.”
“What would your assessment of the risk be now?”
“I still believe I made the right choice.”
He ran the tips of his fingers along the length of my arm. Goose bumps rose on my skin at his touch. “When I was a very young man, my uncle made me a centurion: a commander in charge of a legion. It was a fine post, an honor, and I strove to prove myself and earn it. There was another centurion, a good friend of my uncle, with whom I was always at odds. Never of the same opinion about anything.”
A breeze blew outside, causing one of the shutters to rattle.
“I learned that this man asked his servants to find boys who were newly conscripted into the army and have them sent to his tent at night. I wouldn’t typically interfere with a man’s desires, but these boys were very young; most had never left home before. He would often leave them maimed. I know I’m not the best of men, but this was truly a despicable creature. I confronted him. He became violent, and in the fight that followed, I killed him. I have no doubt he would have killed me if he had been able to. As it was, he took my eye.”
“What a terrible thing.” My cheek rested against the smooth linen fabric of his toga, conscious of the solid mass of his chest beneath it.
“I paid a high price for it. My uncle was furious. Not only had I killed his dear friend, but I had lost an eye and was unable to serve, let alone command. He dismissed me.”
“Your uncle isn’t worthy of your admiration. Is that why you became an explorer?”