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Zhangwei reached out, lacing our fingers together, his touch no longer startling me. “I’m not cold anymore,” he said in a low voice.

Nor am I. But I didn’t say it aloud as I drew away, my heart beating far too quickly.

It was easier to examine our surroundings, the phoenixes perched upon the trees, their beaks tearing through a reddish fruit as they dug out wedges of ripe flesh. “I’d imagined their diet to be more hearty.”

“I wouldn’t anger a phoenix,” he warned. “They might eat fruit from the trees and drink the purest water, but they won’t hesitate to rip your head from your neck if they think you’re a threat. Or a nuisance.”

As we sat on the ground, Zhangwei lifted the food from a basket: a roasted duck carved into slices, thin flour pancakes, a small dish of plum sauce, and curls of spring onion. Hungry now, I folded the pancake around the duck, dipped it into the sauce, then took a bite. The crisp skin melded with the sweet plum as I chewed slowly, savoring the taste.

Zhangwei filled my cup with tea. “My mother taught me to serve the guest first.” With the barest glint of humor, he added, “Though she didn’t say what to do when the guest served herself so quickly.”

I laughed, folding another slice of meat into the pancake. How strange to imagine him as a boy, learning manners from his parents, those that stayed with him till today. “Where are your parents?” I asked.

“They live in a village far from the palace. They don’t enjoy court life,” he told me.

“You are lucky that you can see them whenever you wish.” A trace of envy slid into me. This was the greatest blessing the immortals possessed—not their magic or the riches of their world—but that they weren’t destined to be parted from their loved ones.

“I know,” he said quietly. “I am sorry for your loss.”

I swallowed, fighting down my emotions. “Is there anyone you miss? Anyone you’ve lost?” I wanted to shift the discussion from me.

His gaze turned up to the skies, shrouded in memory. “Just one.”

“How fortunate that immortals don’t die as easily as mortals,” I remarked, a little too sharply.

He shook his head. “That is not why. You have to love someone to miss them.”

A shiver ran through me at the emptiness in his words. “All these years . . . and you’ve only loved one person? What is the point of eternity?”

A beat of silence. “I didn’t say I only loved one person, just that I lost them,” he corrected me gravely. “One is enough, if they are the right person. It doesn’t matter how often you love, but how well.”

There was an ache in my chest that I was fighting to suppress. Whether it was jealousy or envy, it was stupid and futile.

“You’re not who I expected you to be,” I admitted after a pause.

“Maybe you should look a little deeper,” he suggested. “Don’t just see what you think you should.”

I had known him as the God of War even before I’d known his name. Maybe that had colored my perception of him. “Have you killed as many as they say?”

“It depends on what you’ve heard.” His voice dropped. “Maybe more.”

“Monsters? Villains?” What was I hoping for? A reason to not be afraid . . . or one to stay away?

“Some; not all. But never lightly.” His voice was raw, like the ghosts of those he’d killed haunted him still.

I softened my tone. “Is it hard?”

“There is never joy in the taking of a life. But my people are safe,” he said. “If those you love are threatened, if it’s between you or them—would you choose otherwise?”

Was I not doing the same? Making hard choices, those that went against myself, for the sake of my people. Playing on his emotions though it hurt me too, because I needed his support for Tianxia. And what of my grandfather? For my sake he had betrayed the queen he’d dedicated his life to serving, by stealing what she desired above all.

Maybe we were all monsters inside, waiting to be unleashed once pushed too far.

I wouldn’t run from it. I would embrace it, hone it into a strength as he had done. Steeling myself, I looked up at him. “When you took the punishment for me, was it out of honor? A sense of duty?”

“No.”

“Then why did you do it?” My heart raced, my throat tightening. Part of it was to edge him into a confession, but I also simply wanted to know.