Page 81

He had given his friend that, but at what cost? Had he exhausted him so much, he’d knocked a few more precious days off his life?

The mood was pensive as they made their way back to the truck. “I wonder if Jack’s missing you,” he asked, determined to shift the conversation, and his thoughts, onto anything but death and guilt.

She darted him a look as he opened the door for her. “I thought you didn’t like my cat?”

“I never said I didn’t like him.”

“You said he was ugly.”

“He is.” He held her elbow while she jumped up into his truck, only now noticing her mismatched silver star socks, one green, one red. Because he was a sad sap who used any excuse to get close to her, he reached over to secure her seatbelt. To keep her safe. Not so he could brush up against those incredible breasts, or inhale her apple shampoo.

“So let me get this right,” she said once he’d put the truck into drive and set off down the bumpy track. “You think Jack is ugly, but you like him?”

“I don’t dislike him,” he corrected.

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

He quirked a brow at her. “He’s a cat, Anna. I don’t have strong feelings either way.”

He knew she was still angry with him when, instead of continuing the conversation, teasing and cajoling him until he finally admitted he liked her cat, she let out a sad sounding sigh and turned on the radio.

They didn’t speak another word on the drive back. Didn’t say anything after he’d parked his truck in the private garage, or on the short walk from there to the condo.

It was only when they were inside, and after she’d made a fuss of Jack, that she finally spoke.

“We had a fight today.” She raised her pretty eyes to his. “I didn’t like it.”

“Me, neither.” A tear slid down her cheek and his heart almost detonated. “Hey, don’t cry. Please.”

She bit into her lip and looked away. “When I had an argument with a guy I was seeing, or with one of the doctors, or just a bad day at work,” she said, in a voice that was horribly flat, “Colin was always there for me. If not in person, he was on the end of the phone. It didn’t matter what he was doing, what I interrupted, he’d tell me I was more important. And then he’d listen.” Her voice broke and as tears fell, she batted them away with the back of her hand. “But now . . . now he’s not here and I suddenly feel very lonely. I know that sounds pathetic and frankly ridiculous. I have friends, and though Mom and Dad might never be in the right time zone, they’d fly back in a heartbeat if I needed them.”

“But you wouldn’t ask them.”

She flicked him a watery smile. “No. They dedicated twenty-eight years of their life to helping me. This is their time now.” Another tear fell. “But today, our fight . . . it made me realize how much I don’t want to lose you, too.”

His heart splintered. Two strides and he was stood in front of her, his hands cupping her face, his thumb wiping at the stray tears. “You won’t lose me,” he promised gruffly. “That’s what I was trying to say today. You matter to me, Anna. Far too much for me to want to ruin what we have by sleeping with you, much as I ache to do that.” His heart felt like a fist in his chest. “I want to be your person, the man Colin would want me to be for you. Anything more than that, and I’ll end up screwing things up.”

She nodded, her red-rimmed eyes searching his, so somber, so forlorn he couldn’t bear it. A beat later he flung his arms around her and hugged her to his chest, his hand stroking through her curls. “You’re not alone,” he whispered. “You’ll never be alone. I will always be here for you.”

She sobbed noisily and he held her, occasionally kissing the top of her head, always smoothing his right hand down her hair, down her back, the gesture more for himself than for her. It grounded him, stopped the tears in his own eyes from spilling over.

When she finally drew back, her eyes were puffy and her cheeks wet. “You okay?” He asked roughly, wiping at the dampness with the palm of his hand.

“Better, thanks.” Her gaze drifted down and she gave him a wobbly smile. “Umm, I might have slobbered all over your shirt.”

“Guess that means you’ll have to make me dinner to compensate.”

Her eyes widened and she punched his arm. “What happened to not taking advantage of me when I’m vulnerable?”

He ignored the dart of guilt. He must have done something right if she was laughing about it now. “It’s not taking advantage, it’s taking turns. I did yesterday, you do today.”

She let out a dramatic sigh. “I suppose. But you have to play with Jack.” She smirked. “I did yesterday, so you do today.”

His responding laugh held both amusement and relief. His world was back on an even keel. For now.

December 22nd

Anna woke feeling surprisingly refreshed. Crying all over Luke hadn’t been ideal, but it had brought her worries out in the open. And it had made her realize how important he’d become to her.