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“Fine.” He forced a bland look onto his face, so she wouldn’t be able to see how much she’d sliced him wide open.

“I presume you’ll wait until we’ve done the photo collage thing.” She shrugged. “After that, your obligation towards me and Colin is officially over and you can run off to North Carolina with your conscience clear.”

“Anna.” He didn’t know what else to say, his heart was too heavy.

It didn’t matter anyway, because she turned and walked out, leaving him with the sight of her cute butt and below it, the socks he’d bought her.

Fuck. How had he gone from nearly jumping into bed with her this morning, to . . . this? A raw, gaping hole in his chest?

Last night he’d kidded himself that maybe Anna was right, maybe Colin had devised the activities in the advent to keep Luke here, where he’d lived, where his sister now lived. To give him roots. To give him Anna.

But he’d mucked up the plan and now everything was off, derailed, and he didn’t know how to get it back on track again. He didn’t know how to pretend he wasn’t hopelessly in love with the woman it was likely Colin had only intended him to be a big brother to.

How was he supposed to keep her in his life from afar, when all he wanted to do was hold her close and never let her go?

* * *

Hours later, he was still no closer to knowing what to do. Sitting on his bed, he pretended to read through the job offer again while actually listening for the door and Anna’s footsteps.

He’d been out to buy a frame, filled it with prints of his favorite photos.

Advent calendar completed, tick.

He’d also wrapped her real present, the one he’d dragged a sniggering Mateo out to buy six days ago, and put the part that was small enough under the tree.

And he’d packed up his things.

Anna didn’t need him in her life, she’d said that quite clearly. And she didn’t want him in her life, because he was . . . what had she said? Emotionally closed off. Exactly like her bastard ex.

So, he should take the job. When was he likely to get another chance to head up an outdoor camp so closely aligned with his experience, and with what he wanted to do with his life? As for Anna, she’d find a man who was more like she was. A man more closely aligned with her brother’s values; openness, warmth. A good man not scarred by grief, twisted by guilt.

Why did it feel like he was contemplating cutting out his heart?

The front door banged shut. His pulse quickened as he picked up the photo frame and went out to meet her.

“Hey, Jack Sparrow.”

He found her in the hallway, making a fuss of the cat who, as if he’d known about their row, had ignored Luke since he’d come back. What must it be like to have the cat’s confidence? To walk up to her and demand her attention like Jack did, secure in the knowledge he’d earned it.

“Did you have a successful trip?”

She slowly lifted her head to look at him. “Haven’t left yet then?”

“Anna.” Christ, he had to get better at saying something other than her name.

“Yes?”

He wanted to tell her he’d bought them a turkey. She’d wanted that before their fight, hadn’t she? To spend Christmas day together? But maybe that was now the last thing she wanted.

“When you’re ready.” He pointed to the frame under his arm. “I’ll be in the living room.”

Ten minutes later she came to join him. It was a measure of how much things had deteriorated between them that she sat at the other end of the sofa from him.

“So what do we do?” Her frame was upside down on her lap, his tucked by his feet. “If I show you mine will you show me yours?” Her mouth twisted in a sad, ironic smile.

“This isn’t how Colin would have wanted us to spend our last night together,” he said quietly.

“No, but then he’s not here, is he?” Her voice caught on the words and his heart felt like a fist in his chest.